What To Stream
I Was Told To Watch 2012’s ‘John Carter’ So I Did
The infamous science fiction and fantasy epic, um, whips
I asked Twitter what movie I should watch next and a film critic whose work I respect suggested 2012’s sci-fi fantasy John Carter, which is streaming on Disney+. The movie was a legendary flop that lost $200 million at the box office but I was assured that it was, in fact, good.
Thank you, film critic whose work I respect! Support your local art critics, people. You’ll miss them when they’re gone (by 2030 they’ll be extinct, replaced by androids with goatees.) Critics are paid to think about movies and books and music and TV shows and thinking is hard work, just scroll through Facebook for a hot minute. I look at it this way: a movie is like a bunch of chicken nuggets and a really good, passionate, thoughtful movie review is like a dipping sauce. I don’t need spicy mustard but it does make the chicken nugget a little better.
Anyway, another Twitter Friend chimed in and agreed with the recommendation, adding that John Carter “whips.” So I took their word for it and was immediately transported via astral projection to the planet Barsoom which we Earthlings call Mars.
