The ‘Straight Pride Parade’ Was Embarrassing

The first ‘Straight Pride Parade’ happened in Boston this past Saturday. I sincerely hope it’s the last. That shit was embarrassing.

It’s not hard to be a straight man, really. I’m a straight man so I know what I’m writing about.

I know we’re getting criticized more than ever and challenged, and mocked but, like, a lot of it is well deserved and we can take it, right? We’re tough.

Here’s how to be a man in today’s world: Make eye contact. Help those who ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for it yourself. Hug your friends. Pass the ketchup. Instead of saying ‘well, actually,’ try ‘what do you think?’ Don’t worry about whether or not to ‘act like a man’ What does that even mean? Act like a person who takes responsibility for their words and actions. Be nice. Remember: life is too short to be an asshole for no good goddamn reason. See? It’s easy.

The ‘Straight Pride Parade’ itself consisted of a couple of hundred white men. A small herd of bratwursts. There were no women in that crowd. If there were, I’ll be happy to admit I was wrong. But I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong.

I’d also be surprised if there were any people of color since the men behind the parade have ties to white nationalist groups. I mean, I’m sure they’d welcome a few non-white people, so long as they…