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Best Of Humungus

Unicorns Aren’t Real

No matter what Silicon Valley says

I wrote this essay a few months ago about a popular documentary about the startup WeWork. I also wrote about my fe-e-e-e-elings, having worked at one of those McOffices for a few months way back in 2016, when we were innocent.

“A “unicorn” is what venture capitalists call a startup valued at over a billion dollars. WeWork definitely fits that description, even if the buzzword doesn’t make sense. One of the more insufferable aspects of Silicon Valley culture is their love of cute jargon. A startup worth a billion bucks is rare. A unicorn isn’t rare. There is no such thing as a unicorn. They don’t exist. I guess, in a way, neither did WeWork. Now narwhals? Those are real and rare. But nobody asked me.”

I Worked At A WeWork For Four Months In 2016, And It Was The Worst

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