Discrimination: A story of a natural instinct tainted by societal norms
“How was school today honey?” Joline greeted her 12-year-old daughter Ayo.
“It was alright, nothing much.” Ayo responded, shrugging her shoulders and seating herself down on a stool at the kitchen island, she reached out to the cookie jar and looked up at her mum who of course, was trying to analyze how sincere that response was.
Joline was a psychologist, specifically a developmental psychologist. While it gave her perks as a mother, Ayo absolutely hated how easy it was for her mum to pick on her emotions.
“Well that doesn’t look like a happy face, “Joline said, now leaning over the counter top. She knew something was up but didn’t know what it was. She also knew, Ayo was stubborn enough not to admit it in the moment, so she was not going to drag it out.
“Why don’t you go clean up and come down for lunch, it is almost ready. I just made some chocolate mousse, and I might even let you lick the spoon” she told her daughter, now turning away to continue cleaning the dishes.
Ayo nodded before jumping down from the stool and heading up the stairs. Making her way into her room she stared at her pale skin and curly red hair. For a twelve-year-old she was dealing with a lot. She was quite tall for her age, 5”5, her dad was really tall, and so it was expected. However, that wasn’t the problem, it was the fact that she was very light skinned, with hazel eyes and had a mane of thick blonde hair, while both her parents were Black. Ayo was not adopted. Her mom had explained to her several years ago when she was old enough to understand, that she was born with a condition known as albinism.
She understood that she was unique, and she was just like anyone else, but it still got to her every time the other Black kids in the neighborhood and at school would say she was not really Black and dismiss her ethnicity. She was discriminated against by her own kind, just because she was a little different.
She sighed and walked away from the mirror, determined not to let a few mean comments get to her.
Welcomed by the smell and sight of the delicious meal of beef stew and fresh rolls, all her worries were washed away and the sweet smell of the food had successfully turned that frown into a grin. “It smells so good mum!”
“And tastes better even better” her mum replied.
“Mum can I ask you a question?” Ayo inquired, as they cleared up the table. “Yes, what’s on your mind?” Joline said, hoping whatever it was would be an explanation for her daughter’s unusual mood.
“Why do people discriminate against others even when they know it isn’t very nice?”
“Well, you see, to discriminate is simply to perceive and respond to different things around us. It is sort of a natural instinct. The way we know and select a good apple from a bad one. The way we know a ripe banana from a bunch of green ones. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, makes sense…” Ayo nodded, listening to her mum.
“So in the same way, people discriminate based on those things, is the same way they do on other things such as discriminating or favoring one gender over another or one culture over another and so on. It is the influence of social factors that sets the definition of what is accepted as normal or not.”
Ayo listened intently as her mother spoke. She had not thought of it that way. She always just thought discrimination was a form of bullying, she hadn’t considered the fact that it is in fact something that happens quite normally.
Joline had a pretty good idea of what prompted this question even though her daughter never outrightly told her what had happened. “People are always going to discriminate. It is a natural instinct. They will discriminate about your height, your race, your culture, your weight, hair colour, accent, everything because society forms stereotypes of what is accepted and if you don’t fit the normal in that environment, you face prejudice” she added, walking round the table to her daughters’ side. She kissed her forehead and held her into a half hug, “ what is important is knowing who you are and with that very important knowledge, you don’t need others approval to feel normal”.
Ayo smiled and in a way, she loved that her mom could sense what was wrong with her because she always knew just what to say, without needing hash it out.
“Thanks mum!” she said. And Joline knew it wasn’t just for the explanation she had provided, she smiled as she watched her daughter beam up again.
