Groceries After Dark
Every night is the same. After a grocery store closes for the night, and the staff leaves to go home and call it a night, what no one is aware of is that the store is far from quiet, dark and unoccupied.
Grumpy Gary locked the cash register, and obnoxiously yawned, his massive mouth opening up like a cave, filled with hidden treasure (in this case, his uvula) and his vocal cords tumbling out of his mouth like a fast-current waterfall, spilling out into the atmosphere and engulfing the silent store. Scratching his side lazily, he trudged up to the entrance, dragging his large feet against the white tiles, switched the lights off, and locked the door behind him; he made sure he put up the “we’re closed” sign and shut the curtains, before walking off to his anticipated dinner waiting for him at home, cooked by his lovely wife who constantly put up with his childish tantrums.
It’s dark. It’s quiet. It’s empty … or so we thought.
“Alright, folks. We’re clear!” A casual voice piped up from the crisps’ isle, before the lights were switched back on, and every food item on every shelf, quite miraculously, began to move and shimmy their way over to the centre of the store, where daily reviews were held before throwing the usual party that everyone enjoyed.
The loud buzz and hum of chatter engulfed the store as every food item spoke to the one it was standing next to, and on top of the large pyramid of boxes of cookies, stood a tall box of Pringles crisps (the original flavor, obviously), and finally, his voice boomed across the store, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Alright, everybody! Let’s start the night by giving out the awards, shall we?”
A loud wave of cheers echoed around the space, excitement radiating off every food item as they eagerly awaited their success, and dreaded their failure.
“In first place of selling most of their kind — can the ice cream people step forward, please?” Mr. Pringles called out, pride emanating from his tin body as he smiled.
The ice cream people screamed with elation as they stepped forward and cheered, while everyone else whistled and jumped in joy for them. The Vanilla Haagen-Dazs tub stepped forward to the cookie-box pyramid stage, and cleared his throat.
“I, the president of the ice cream folk, proudly accept first place — it appears as though today the humans have been broken hearted at most, and they were seeking solace in our finest candidates to ease their pain away. After all, we are the perfect dessert to help with overcoming heartbreak.”
Once again, cheers and whistles erupted, and the ice cream president hopped off the pyramid to join his kind once more.
“Wonderful!” Mr. Pringles exclaimed. “Now, in second place, can the crisps’ people step forward, please?”
Ostentatious and arrogant sounds of rustling and shuffling were heard as all the crisps moved forward while everyone cheered them on, and Mr. Pringles felt quite the happiness, for his friends had successfully made it to second place of most purchases.
A large tin of cheese balls called Mr. Krisps stepped forward onto the pyramid, and exchanged joyous grins with Mr. Pringles, before not-so-humbly exclaiming, “It is with deep pleasure and pride that I, the president of the Crisps’ folk, accept second place prize for most purchases.”
Once the cheers died down, he went further on with his short speech. “I mean — what can I tell you? It’s Friday night, and we all know what most people do on Fridays.”
The crowd yelled in unison, “PARTIES!”
“Indeed!” Mr. Krisps chortled. “And so, piles upon piles of teenaged boys and girls have visited our isle today and have grabbed our most qualified candidates for the job!”
Mr. Krisps went down the pyramid as the applauses commenced, and Mr. Pringles awaited their silence.
Once it was attained, he began to speak once more. “And now, last but not least — in third place, we’ve got … THE CHOCOLATE FOLK!”
Roars of happiness mingled with gasps of pleasant surprise was woven into the crowd, before the chocolate people stepped forward, with a large Toblerone chocolate bar at the front, and stepped onto the pyramid.
“Did all of you happen to forget that we are the people of love, luxury and affection?” She hollered from the pyramid, and the crowd laughed.
Toblerone grinned. “Well, it appeared today that so many couples waltzed into our isle to choose our people to express their love for their significant others. Therefore, I would like to humbly accept third place prize.”
Everyone cheered as Toblerone jumped off the pyramid to join her people, and Mr. Pringles excitedly exclaimed, “Well done to all of you! The effort has not been neglected. And now, without further ado, let the party begin!”
The crowd dispersed to join their own groups of friends as the kitchen tools folk hijacked the speaker system and began to play some upbeat music, while everyone began to dance and enjoy their time.
Mr. Pringles smiled in content as he surveyed everyone. He knew that human beings heavily relied on them all to fulfill their needs. Everyone in this store was important to a human being out there, for people are complicated beings with different specifications and expectations that only a diverse selection of food items can satisfy. It always depends on the person’s mindset and mood in order for them to identify what they wish to consume — and therefore, every food item in the store represented a mood, a personality, and a lifestyle. Mr. Pringles would forever cherish the family he has here in the store, and was proud of the courageous veterans who demanded to be chosen by the humans and to never return — for it was their duty to please the humans, and this? This, they perform quite perfectly.
