His Taunting Thoughts
Nathan could feel it looming right behind him, peering over his shoulder, its tantalizingly warm breaths hitting the back of his neck, causing the hairs to stick up electrifyingly and a chill to run down his spine in utter discomfort. It was his anxiety coming back to greet him after a long separation from him over the summer. Now it was back and ready to give him a warm welcome against his will.
He could feel the bile threateningly rising up his throat at an alarmingly dangerous speed, and he had to wipe his clammy hands against his jeans that seemed to cling onto his skin from how sweaty he was. He felt absolutely wretched. Nathan did not want the summer to end, but he had no control over these things, and he knew he had obligations and responsibilities to own up to. It was his first day of university, and he cursed his anxiety for kicking in and making him feel utterly helpless and weak.
He was far too afraid to speak with anyone. It felt like every pair of eyes he met in the hallway as he walked to class pry at his frail figure, and ruthlessly judged him. If this kept going for a minute longer, Nathan knew that he would inevitably get an anxiety attack, and what petrified him further was the possibility of getting it around a group of people.
The last thing he needed was further embarrassment on his first day.
As he cautiously trudged his way over to class, Nathan gulped and attempted to take deep breaths when he felt his throat beginning to constrict.
Breath in. Hold. Breathe out.
He mentally chanted to himself as he inhaled through his nostrils and exhaled through his mouth, which felt inexplicably dry and scratchy at the moment.
As Nathan pressed on the elevator button to summon it, he had a glimmer of hope that he could perhaps get through this without causing a scene, but he judged too soon.
Much to his horror, he heard a female voice chirp behind him, “Hey!”
His eyes widened, and he slowly turned around to meet the girl’s gaze, who was grinning up at him in a friendly manner.
Anxiously, Nathan swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly.
“I’m Lisa, the president of the psych club here.” She introduced herself and stuck her hand out for Nathan to shake, and he nervously reached out and clutched her hand, gave her an extremely faint shake, and let go of it immediately.
“Nathan.” He mumbled apprehensively, but Lisa was able to catch it, and her smile never wavered.
“Well, Nathan, if you’re interested, you should stop by later today at the psych club. We’re going over some tips and advice on how to start our university lives right without having to worry about anxiousness and stress. Plus, it would be a perfect opportunity to make some new friends!” Lisa rambled excitedly, and Nathan visibly winced at her joyous attitude.
Lisa didn’t even seem to be anxious. What did she need that club for anyway?
“Uhm … I don’t know.” He hesitantly responded, and his eyes flickered over to the ground, avoiding her gaze.
Lisa shot him an encouraging look, and expressed, “Look, I know transferring to a new environment can be tough, and nerve wracking, and it definitely gets the better of you at times. But that’s why clubs like these exist. These sessions really do help, you know.”
Nathan finally met her gaze and he pursed his lips, pondering her offer a little. Admittedly, he knew he could use all the support he could get.
“If you end up feeling like joining us, we will be in room 23 on the second floor around 7PM.” She went on, and shot him a final smile.
Nathan nodded slowly at her, and Lisa took that as her time to leave.
“Goodbye, Nathan!”
Nathan did not respond, however, he had a gut feeling that perhaps this was his chance to fight his severe social anxiety and free himself from its grip, and finally be able to live his life the way he had always wanted to.
Besides, it would not hurt to try, would it?
