The Less Glamorous Side of Traveling
Traveling alone has been on the top of my bucket list since I turned 15 years old. However, the thought of going to a new place by myself scares me. I have high-functioning anxiety, and feeling worried and scared isn’t something new. Traveling requires a lot of work, like researching, planning, booking, and more researching.
Let me tell you about my experience traveling with my guy best friend when I was 20 years old.
My best friend, Jason, and I met in Japanese class back in college, so we naturally chose Japan. We didn’t really have any expectations and only knew Japan through anime, YouTube videos, and tourist sites, but even so, we chose places we didn’t know much about. There were a lot of places we wanted to visit, the list was five-pages long, but we had to take some places off the list because we only had 11 days. As we were planning, there were some conflicts. One example, we wanted to go to “Onsen” (Hot Springs), but it seems to be a bit awkward for us to be butt naked in a hot spring together. So, we got to check that out of the list. Another example, I thought it would be fun to check out this fun sex toy store, but he felt a little awkward, so we decided not to go. Other than that, we had a lot of similar interests and were able to go see the other places we listed out.
Jason and I had pretty similar interests, but I was still worried because I had the mindset of- “Your best friend could be your worst travel friend” from all my other friends who ended friendships because of one trip together. And when some conflicts that we had while we were planning the trip? The mindset just confirms what my friends say a bit more. I think I am quite easy-going, and I was glad that we went together because going on a trip with a friend is something I had never experienced before. As I mentioned earlier, I have high-functioning anxiety, and they could get pretty serious. (Thank you, Jason, for dealing with me when I got on edge at times throughout our trip!) There was this one time, I was too afraid to ask for directions to the Kit Kat Factory store, and he got frustrated because he felt like I was just too anxious and scared about everything. However, I felt this trip helped us get to know each other on a deeper level through all the differences that we have individually. We adjusted to each other’s preferences while finding the most fun out of the trip together.
Japan is quite different compared to the U.S., and people were busy there and seemed like they were always on a hassle. In California, people drive, and I drive a lot. In Japan, on the other hand, I walked a lot. The walking reminded me of my hometown, Hong Kong because I walked and took transportation all the time. When I travel on foot, I see more people and have a higher chance to learn more about their culture through face-to-face interaction. Whereas when you are driving, you don’t get to have much face-to-face interaction with others. The beeping sound that alerts you to stay away from tracks because the train is coming reminded me of home. The crowded train that you have to squeeze yourself to make sure you get on reminded me of home. The long stairs to walk down towards the train tracks felt like home. Japan gave me a feeling of “home,” as the common transportation seems nostalgic.
We planned the trip to stay in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka for around 3.5 days each. I would say we got to do almost everything we wanted. The sukiyaki after a long walk on a cold winter day, the izakaya where we drank our beers and had our small plates of Japanese foods, and yes, I have to say, the seven different matcha ice cream levels. Despite all the tourist experiences we did, we also wanted to experience living in Japan. And that’s why, we chose to stay in a “ryokan”, a traditional Japanese-style room where you sleep on the ground with a thick mattress called the “tatami.” It was an old “ryokan,” it was dark, old, and chilly. Initially, I felt a bit bummed out because it was one of the experiences that I was most excited about. When I got there, the “ryokan” wasn’t as expected as I hoped to be, but I also thought I might just be too spoiled with modern and new shit at home. As we wind down our night, the dark, old, and chilly atmosphere in the “ryokan” seemed to be not only in my mind but also in reality. I sensed a weird vibe in the room and had a hard time falling asleep. I asked Jason if he sensed what I was feeling, but said it was probably my anxiety and my overthinking made me feel weird. I tried my best not to bring it up again, took some melatonin, and fell asleep.
While the “ryokan” was a bit scary, I was glad to meet some great people in Japan. When we were on our way back to the hotel from a long day exploring Kyoto, an elderly lady asked me to pull her bag up as she walked out of the train. With my limited Japanese, I helped her and said, “You are welcome.” She was very friendly, smiled, and kept saying thank you in Japanese. This interaction was very heartwarming. This is what I mean when walking gives me a chance to have more face-to-face interaction. Japanese people were so amiable and were happy to see tourists like me. I felt welcomed.
When I came home and reflected on the trip with Jason, I came to the conclusion that even though I had quite a lot of anxiety before and during the trip, it was a great experience to go on a trip with my best friend. I mean, I had a blast, while dealing with all the anxiety shit that I had. “It wasn’t that bad, I was there to have fun!” I told myself. The next time when I travel alone, I think I would do some research on haunted hotels to ensure I am not staying in one of them. I learned that traveling isn’t all flowers and butterflies that you see on Instagram, it comes with a lot of planning, struggles, and frustrations. But hey, that’s part of the fun, right? The trip made me acknowledge my anxiety problems and allow me to embrace them while understanding that traveling is not all I thought it was through pictures. I would still like to travel alone someday, and going on this trip with my best friend is kind of like a “pre-trip” to go on a trip alone. Our friendship got closer; we talk about our travels together every time we meet and plan to go somewhere else next time. We no longer felt awkward about going on a trip with someone who is the opposite gender, and we also respect each other’s personal space. I got a chance to explore the country with its culture and experience being Japanese with my limited time. There is so much more to explore in Japan, but I am glad I did it with my time there. I made it and survived my trip.
