Remembering the Xbox 360 reveal that aired on MTV in 2005

Here. We. Go.

A bunch of people sit down at a couch and then after like 5 seconds they get up again?

A woman in a purple dress grabs a messenger bag off the table. What’s in the bag?? Cliffhanger.

Boom. We’re in it. MTV PRESENTS: XBOX: THE NEXT GENERATION REVEALED.

Next gen as FUCK.

Frodo is hosting. Here’s what’s in store!!!

• Pro gamers are going inside the Rare studio in London. (RIP.)

• A 4­-on-­4, “showdown style,” with some of my favorite celebrity gamers like Wilmer Valderrama. 2005!

• “Also tonight, Sway will take us to the Xbox design lab in Seattle, and visit with the Pimp My Ride guys to get their take on the Xbox.” (Wood’s voice cracks on the word ‘Xbox.’)

• “But tonight, the next Xbox isn’t the only thing that looks cool, as we have a special performance from The Killers like you’ve never seen before.” (RIP saxophone guy.)
• Hell Yeah, Camera Angles.

“I give you the future of gaming!”

Elijah Wood knows how to point really well. Good job, Elijah. In five years you will be co-­starring with a man in a fursuit on basic cable.

But what’s he pointing at? What a twist! Bag lady from the beginning pre-roll is back! And she brought the bag! WHAT’S IN THAT BAG??????????????

THE XBOX WAS IN THE BAG. THE NEW XBOX. THE 360.

Wait, let’s slow our roll for a minute though. What are the features of the new Xbox 360?

GAMING.

GAMIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Aaaaaagghhh hoooolyyy shiiiiiiit The Killers are performing Grantland-bracket-ruiner “Mr. Brightside”

“It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this. It was only a kiss. IT WAS ONLY A KISS.”

GUESS WHO’S HERE.

Frodo: “Are you looking forward to this Xbox 360?”

Lil Jon: “Yeah, I’m looking forward to getting a free one tonight.”

(These are real quotes a PR person believed would help sell the system.)

“There’s no load time, ya know? And we’re finally on Xbox Live.” —Tony Hawk, 2005

8 minutes, 55 seconds: First Sway sighting.

“Xbox 360, the holy grail of gaming, and it’s all about customization. [faceplates lol] And there’s nobody that knows more about that than these two guys from the Pimp My Ride team, my man Mike and my man Ryan.”

“When we found out they were coming out with the new Xbox, we definitely had to give it the West Coast touch.”

ROLL THE CLIP.

“Usually, my man X is the one taking center stage.”

“Today, a different X marks the spot.”

TODAY A DIFFERENT X MARKS THE SPOT.

“Now it’s time to Pimp The Box. Mad Mike, what do you got?”

“Yo, check out this absolutely disgusting portable Xbox.” (Mad Mike did not actually say this.)

Some other guys also modded an Xbox but WOOPS SORRY I GOT LOST IN MATT DAY’S EYES.

CUT TO: REDMOND, WASHINGTON

“Hey, tell me all about your disgusting Xbox 360 prototypes.” (Sway did not actually say this.)

Xbox guys seem super proud of their “ring of light” design concept.

Wonder if that will pay dividends later…

IS THIS WHY YOU BROUGHT IN HEAVY­HITTER ELIJAH WOOD???

NOPE.

The true lord of the ring is J ALLARD.

#RememberTheAllardo.

J Allard.

Sway.

2005.

“This right here looks real slick, was that your intent?”

Awesome question, Sway. You’re killing it.Straight-up crushing this interview.

Now let Trap God J Allard explain all the sick online services on the 360.

“In the real world, the internet’s given us things like eBay and Amazon where you can go buy real stuff. The Live Marketplace is that same concept but for virtual stuff.”

YES. GOOD METAPHOR.

Let’s get back to Elijah.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuccckkk yeeeeessssssss. We did it. All of us. We made this happen.

lol

Now let’s go take a sneak peek at Rare. (RIP.)

Next­gen mocap is for real for real.

“Oh, my first impression of this game’s awesome. It has elements I’ve never seen in any FPS.” This pro gamer is talking about Perfect Dark Zero.

ALRIGHT. NO MORE JOKING AROUND. IT’S TIME:

TEAM 1:

A MURDERER’S ROW. TEAM 1, PLAYING FOR KEEPS.

NOW LET’S MEET TEAM TWOOOOOOO:

TEAM 2, THE ROGUES GALLERY. TAKE NO PRISONERS.

WHO WILL TAKE HOME THE CROWN???

GAMING.

It’s Team 1! Team UNO, leaving it all on the court.

OMARIOOOOOOONNNN!!!!

Valderrama cannot believe he lost. Can’t even think of a “Yo Mama” joke right now. A team of complete noobs. Kutcher wouldn’t have let him down like this.

“I think we can all agree on one thing tonight. Xbox 360 is gonna be amazing.” Haha okay. /sarcasm

(I own 700 Rock Band tracks.)

Close it out, The Killers.