Cognitive Dissonance and Cheat Codes
Gaming is most compelling when there is a perfect balance of potential outcomes: the game has to be difficult enough to pose a worthwhile challenge, but there has to be a chance the player could win. If the game is unbeatable, frustration takes over and the game is tossed aside. However, if the game is too easy, winning yields no personal reward. It becomes meaningless; the player gets no satisfaction. For the perfect balance to be struck, there must be a chance that this time, maybe this time, satisfaction can be achieved — especially if growth in skill and knowledge increase those chances.
I think this same principle can apply to caregiving.
A caregiver experiences constant defeat. Daily loss — of independence, privacy, personal time, money, former plans for the future, former hopes and dreams — are piled upon the overarching loss of one’s family member. Immediate grief compounded by anticipatory grief and complex grief.
A large percentage of family caregivers have no choice. This role evolution was thrust upon them and no alternative is in sight. It’s incredibly common there are other family members who have chosen, for whatever reason, not to help. Assisted living facilities and home health agencies have become so costly only the very wealthy can utilize them. Even so, a nationwide shortage of healthcare workers leaves us all…
