I Am A Stay-At-Home Dad, Part 1
I am a stay-at-home dad. It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made.
My wife and I moved from a bustling city half-way around the world, both of us earning good money, and we moved to Canada for an important surgery our daughter needs. I am not a Canadian, so I am not allowed to work here in Canada until my immigration papers are approved. What that means was that one day, after nearly 20 years having a job, I was no longer working.
So while my wife is busy paying the bills, I stay at home with my daughter. We’ve arranged it so that my daughter attends daycare a few times a week, and these are the days I’ve devoted to focusing on my writing. But the days I have my daughter have been amazing, though it’s not always fun or easy.
There are thousands of articles out there extolling the virtues of stay-at-home dads. And I know it is a new trend in parenting. In fact, according to the National At-Home Dad Network, there are roughly 1.4 to 1.75 million of us out there. Of course, these numbers are for the US. I’m in Canada. So add a couple more people to the list.
But we did not choose this because of a trend, or because it was hip. It was a necessity for us in our lives, and one that was hard to get my head around for a while.
While yes, of course I wanted to spend time with my daughter, it was also frightening to think that I was going to be the one with her all day, every day. And it’s not the diaper changing, or the dressing, or playing that was the worrisome bit—it was the voice in my head. The inner critic. The part tells all of us we aren’t good enough, skilled enough, or just…enough…to be whatever it is we want to be—father, mother, professional, you name it.
As I focus on my writing these days, I feel this inner critic. It’s that editor in my brain telling me, “Who would want to read your stories? Why would anyone pay for this? What’s the point? You’re not very good, you know.” I try to silence the voice in my head as best I can. So far, I keep it quiet most of the time.
I’ve kept this voice quiet as I’ve been with my daughter as well. How? I do my best to go “all in.” I know that the time I have with her is precious, borrowed, and will soon enough disappear. As soon as immigration papers come through, I’ll be on the job hunt. And my time with her will be gone. So I’m “all in” while I can be. I’m on the floor, playing, running around, chasing her, changing diapers on her babies, singing “The Wheels on the Bus” 1,000 times in a row. Because I have to. Because I want to. There’s really no other way.
I’d like to cronicle a little bit of what life is like as a stay-at-home dad here in a small Northern Ontario town. I’d love for you to join me.
I’d love to hear about those of you that are at home with your kids—mothers or fathers. I hope you join me on this little adventure! See you soon for “I’m a Stay-At-Home Dad, Part 2: I’m The Only Dude Around”. Please Recommend or Share if you know someone who would enjoy this! Thanks for reading! You are all awesome.
