The Personally Felt Intersections of {White}, {Female}, & {Christian} in America

First things first — it goes without saying, but this is my experience of my intersections. I am not a spokeswoman for every single white female Christian in America. If you happen to be one and you read this and disagree, feel free to write your own piece on what those intersections have meant for you (I’d love to consider publishing it here!).

The Basics: Born in Minnesota, female at birth, Anglo ancestry on both sides (mostly Norwegian, English, Swedish), strong Christian heritage in the immediate and extended family on both sides, with a personal salvation experience around age 7, 4th generation American, with extended family immigrating mostly around the late 1870s.

As you can see, all three of the identities I’ve chosen to intersect here have had a life long impact. Two have been mine since birth (female/white) and the other (Christian), although technically a choice, was fully ingrained in me my entire life.

As Individual Identities…

FEMALE is an identity I’ve both loved and hated. Pre-puberty I think I felt more ambivalent about it; I grew up on a farm and was independent, strong, and free. It didn’t really seem to matter that I was a “girl”, for better or worse, and consequently, I didn’t assign much meaning to it. I knew I was one, and it didn’t seem to be a hindrance of any sort, in the same way having brown hair didn’t disrupt my life or have any real meaning.

As I got older it became more and more clear that apparently it DID matter. Unbeknownst to me, being a female made me weaker, more annoying, less capable, and better as a follower than a leader. Boys began jockeying for position, and even the weakest of them seemed to be ranking higher than me. I was resentful and frustrated. As I saw other female peers seemingly play into what I viewed as embarrassing female tropes (and delve into shopping, fashion, flirting, crushes, and simulated neediness to attract male attention) I didn’t want to be associated with “them”, ie females.

During this phase, I was constantly hunting for library books about different kinds of women. Amelia Earhart, Anne Frank, and Harriet Tubman were personal heroes of mine, as was Ann Rinaldi’s fictional main character, Sarah, from Girl in Blue. In that book (which I read many times), Sarah runs away from her family to avoid a forced marriage, then dresses as a boy to join the Union Army and fight in the Civil War.

Being a woman seemed tied to hiding, concealing, escaping, and otherwise modifying the self in order to have a chance at being who you wanted to be. And the ultimate judges of whether you were allowed access or deemed worthy seemed to be men, setting up an interesting set of polarities that made it difficult for me to find peace and acceptance.

Women seemed to be facing the heavyweight of expectations and social roles that I resented, yet didn’t know how to refuse.

CHRISTIAN is an identity I connect firmly with my family (parents/siblings/grandparents and beyond), as well as my early immigrant ancestors. My great-great-great-grandfather, Christopher Corneliussen, was a traveling preacher on the coast of Norway before coming to America, where he pastored in a Norwegian speaking church in Chicago (that burned during the Great Chicago Fire). In a booklet he wrote on our family’s history he writes a prayer for his children, grandchildren, and their children that I felt a deep affinity for as a child and young adult.

Around the age of 10–11, I would say I became “ardent” in my beliefs. I had read the entire Bible, cover to cover, by my 12th birthday. (I finished on July 29, 2002). I memorized verses, and I was very fond of apologetics, which roared through the 90s, along with purity culture.

An avowed virgin until marriage (purity pledge signed, of course!), I was the sort of serious, conservative young adult Christian that was fully immersed in Christian culture.

At its best, I would say I absolutely had experiences of connection to the divine, inner peace, and transformation.

At its worst, I would say I absolutely had experiences of intense stress and anxiety over following rules, expressing judgment and condemnation of others and myself and feeling extremely bound to the “right” way of doing things.

WHITENESS was something I was aware of early on, which I mostly attribute to my reading habits. I loved books that featured different perspectives and alternative viewpoints, as compared to the usual lens. In school history books I read about the (mostly) white men featured — you know their names.

In my personal time, I was searching for books on the Lakota people, the warrior Geronimo, Wounded Knee from a non-Custer-as-hero perspective, the Trail of Tears, narratives of enslaved individuals, Nat Turner’s Rebellion, Harriet Tubman, abolition, female resistance fighters and spies, Navajo code talkers, Japanese internment camps, Chinese railroad workers in America, immigrant narratives, the Civil Rights movement, feminism, suffrage, and labor unions.

Those were the stories that compelled me the most, and they offered a mirror for understanding the ways in which race impacted people in very real ways, especially when that race was not white. Although my reading didn’t solve, fix, or change anything on a societal scale, I do believe it changed me, and some of the ways I have thought about, perceived, and interacted with both history and the modern moment. Growing up in a small, rural area of the Midwest with almost no diversity, my books and reading habits gave me a window to life beyond me, my family, and my community.

And even with all that…

A few years ago I was startled by the reality that even though I intellectually perceive America as a beautiful collection of races and ethnicities, I have a strong, previously unconscious “knowing” that America is ultimately “white”. This embarrassing revelation came to me when I was reflecting on why “other” white people were stressing about demographic predictions that show America will be less than 50% white by 2045. And somewhere in my ponderings, I was startled by the tiny edge of the thought that America “needs” whiteness to really be America.

(As much as I don’t love that that thought even existed in my brain….we all have thoughts like that. It’s unavoidable. And the worst thing you can do is pretend you don’t have any biases yourself. Vernā Myers has a great TEDx Talk on walking boldly towards your biases!)

When I look to leaders, change-makers, innovators, faith leaders, and prize winners, I’m guaranteed to see a sea of white faces looking back at me. I’ve grown up with the idea that white people do great things, and that we deserve to be centered in every story. Even in hard realities, like slavery, there are many “good” white people who are centered in stories of abolition work and emancipation.

Whiteness is often socially equated with goodness, innocence, and purity, especially for white women. This spills over into all sorts of interactions, perhaps most notably in schools (where white children tend to receive less punitive punishments) and the criminal justice system (where white people are more likely to be considered less dangerous and more innocent at every level of proceedings).

If I have a health concern, my doctor is more likely to listen to me because I’m white. (Although less likely to take me seriously because I’m female.) From asthma to giving birth; my whiteness ensures I’ll be better cared for, and more likely to make it out alive.

If you follow the money, you’ll find white people hold a lot of it. I know for a fact that if I include my extended family, we are landowners in areas that can only mean we’ve benefitted from redlining policies in Minnesota. My great-great-grandparents were able to purchase land, create generational wealth, and pass that wealth on by virtue of being immigrants from countries like England, Norway, and Sweden — bastions of Anglo-Saxon whiteness that was favored over the whiteness of immigrants from Ireland and Poland, and the non-whiteness of immigrants from other countries. (Although interestingly, much more like the “huddled masses” than they would likely have claimed themselves to be.)

When it comes to other traditions, religions, and ways of understanding the world, whiteness in America is often used as a norm, a “neutral” reference point that determines what is right, acceptable, and worthy. From what bodies should look like (and what is considered beautiful), to what constitutes “good” hair, from how English should be spoken, to what sort of dance moves are “appropriate”, to who is worth venerating and who is more of a “side” piece…..whiteness has been a constant framework, lens, and moderator in my life.

Whiteness has been the most pervasive (and easiest to choose not to see) aspect of these three identities for me. Its saturation point is so high, I know that I’m a bit like the fish who has trouble understanding water. (Case in point: I rewrote a huge part of this section because I felt like I missed the mark majorly the first time around.)

AND….some intersections!

Things have gotten DEEP in here, and we haven’t even created any intersections to examine! I’m going to list some social identity combinations, followed by common messages I felt I was given based on the intersection of those identities. If you don’t hold some of these identities, see what you can learn about people who do! If you happen to also share some of my identities and their intersections, let me know if you believe you’ve received similar messages at the intersections.

FEMALE + CHRISTIAN

• Women have a place….as followers. They are called to be submissive to men, the natural leaders.
• Although the Bible offers some examples of female leaders (like the judge Deborah), those are rare exceptions and not presented as role models other women should follow. Don’t expect to lead, be powerful, or take command: it’s ungodly.
• One of the most valuable things I have to “offer” is my virginity and /or physical purity, which are of paramount importance.
• Women are qualified to teach children and other women, but not men. Women who persist in teaching/leading men should be alienated or viewed with deep skepticism. (In higher education, you’ll see female professors at conservative Christian universities, but they are more likely to teach “soft sciences” like psychology or be in fields like art and music, as opposed to being professors of theology, which is still seen as a role for men.)
• Women should not assume their voices are welcomed or wanted and should expect to be quiet, defer to male leadership, and find ways to serve in the background.
• The only acceptable expression of sexuality is with a man you are married to. Modesty is paramount at all times to prevent your body from being a “stumbling block” to men, and virginity is to be carefully saved and “given” to your husband on your wedding night.
• Female bodies are suspect and must be controlled and concealed to prevent them from causing sin. The (Christian) male gaze is the ultimate judge of what is acceptable for female bodies.

Cumulative Impact: In my experience, the intersection of “Christian” and “Female” have been disempowering and painful. The identity of “female” has served, in my opinion, to make me feel like a second class citizen, and to perpetuate power imbalances that make me forever a behind-the-scenes servant of the men who apparently do deserve to be seen and heard, as their God-given right. Shame around sexual expression resulted in a constant sort of self-monitoring/self-regulation, as well as a hyper-awareness of how my body was potentially a tool used by evil forces to drag men into sin, well into my early 20’s. I still feel the impact of that messaging today.

CHRISTIAN + WHITE

• The way we (as white, Western, Christians) practice the faith is the proper/correct/appropriate way to practice Christianity, including how we conduct worship services, go about preaching/teaching, and hold congregational meetings.
• Our (primarily straight male) voices and perspectives are the leading authority on all things relating to Christian doctrine and practice across the world.
• White missionaries were influential in leading other, “lesser” cultures into a true understanding of Jesus/God/religious practice.
• Non-white, non-American (non-straight, non-male) believers sharing theology or teaching should be approached cautiously, and their teaching must always be verified by the teaching of white (straight, male) theologians and scholars of the faith to be viewed as valid.
• White Christians who are “real” believers are single issues voters who always vote Republican in order to protect unborn life.

Cumulative Impact: Although not a top-tier, power-holding Christian (as a result of being a female), I have still definitely benefited from the intersection of what it means to be “white” and “Christian” in America, in my opinion. The way I understood and experienced my religion was always prioritized as being the best way, the holiest way, and the way most likely to be ordained by God Himself. As long as I remained in line with teachings on acceptable roles for women (and presented as straight, of course), I could experience connection, community, belonging, and acceptance by virtue of claiming myself to be a white Christian. My race paved the way for other white Christians to assume that I did things “right” and had an acceptable theological background/faith understanding to teach other women and children. It also created an automatic political affiliation that again offered belonging and connection.

FEMALE + WHITE

• White women are fragile and deserve attention and protection at all times.
• I can and should call the police if I ever feel threatened or believe I need more back up/support.
• I can find reference points and icons that look like me throughout history and society.
• Women’s issues/feminism is naturally centered on the experience of middle to upper-class, college-educated white women like me.
• If things are not the way I think they should be, or I have a grievance, I have a right to demand my voice be heard and to expect people to get with the program and create change (which centers my own narrative and needs).
• My sexual expression and self-expression is monitored by and filtered through the male gaze to determine its worthiness/acceptance.
• I have to demonstrate aggressiveness and risk being considered a “bitch” if I am serious about being seen as a leader in the workplace.
• I am expected to be an excellent wife and devoted mother who attends all the soccer games and piano recitals for my children PLUS maintains a positive and modestly impressive career trajectory WHILE baking homemade gluten-free, allergen-free cookies for the school bake sale AND ensuring my husband’s shirts are ironed for his very important job in which we both understand he should make more money than me, otherwise he will be threatened and probably shut me out (which would obviously be my fault for being too successful), BUT I should never complain because I am white and I know that makes privileged.
• I make less than a man or Asian woman in my same job, but more than Black women (who make more than other women of color).

Cumulative Impact: Society centers people who look like me and our narratives. My feelings and needs are often prioritized, and the more I play into the stereotypes of being a “good” wife and mother, the more respect or status I tend to gain. Veering too heavily into either motherhood (staying at home to raise the kids) or my career (traveling, long hours, etc) will result in shame and criticism; at the same time, those extreme options are more likely to at least be available to me than to women of color. I would also receive less judgment than a man if I do choose to stay home. As a woman, I don’t always have my medical concerns taken as seriously as a man’s, but I am likely to receive better overall treatment than other women on the basis of my whiteness.

There is an immense amount of pressure attached to my experience with white, female identities, with a felt sense of role-related confines. Being seen as a white woman can be shame-inducing and come with a whole set of questions, frustrations, and concerns, including what it means to break free from both advantages and increases in power, as well as disadvantages and severe limitations, that are found at the intersection of being a white female.

The answers will likely require a willingness to socially and personally choose to de-center the white female experience.

— —

Those are three identities that I have felt strongly throughout my life. Books have been written about them, and scholars continue to study them. They are dynamic, heavily reliant on social and historical contexts, and an ever-present part of who I am. They apply to hundreds of thousands of others, and also include intersections for those containing only two of those three identities.

Considerations like class, gender identity, sexual expression, [dis]abilities, citizenship, political affiliation, age, and more aren’t even touched on; adding them would create even more opportunity for advantages and disadvantages.

At the end of the day, these three intersections are mine to hold, examine, and consider. I might ask:

How have they impacted me? In what ways are they empowering me by way of disempowering others? In what ways do their messages live on inside of me? What have I rejected? What have I not yet owned? How can I operate within them to create change? How can I turn them on their heads?

More importantly, reader, what identities of your own do you need to examine?

With I Am Intersectionality, I hope to provide thought-provoking resources that will help us understand more about our own personal intersections, and what those intersections mean in the historical and social moment we are living in today. If you’d like to get an occasional email with articles and resources on intersectionality, sign up here!