A Complete Guide to Self Un-Help
In which the Oracle of the Mall’s ten prompts are described, and Nick Cave’s Mum drops a hard truth.
Previously on I Am Not a Product…
The Oracle of the Mall described the problem of Optimaddiction and an Achievement Society. She presented ten prompts and instructed me to publish them. My therapist increased the dosage.
Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I’m more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won
By standing in any one place for too longJesus of the Moon, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!! (2008)
Ten Prompts
Without further ado, the ten prompts revealed by the Oracle of the Mall (for background, see the intro post) are as follows:
On Tablet 1, ways to think about the world contrary to those of an Achievement Society:
- Describe not what you’re free from, but what you’re free for
It is easy to say what you want to be free from. But what will you be free for? How does the future look when you don’t conform? - Consider anti-product measures to gauge your life
How can you assess a life not dictated by speed, productivity, and infinite growth? - Desire satisfaction, not happiness
Satisfaction is enduring. Happiness is fleeting. Or as Slavoj Žižek says, why be happy when you can be interesting? - Be mindful of mindfulness
That self-care doesn’t mutate into performative narcissism a.k.a your 4am journaling-breathwork-stretching routine doesn’t have to go on TikTok. - Resist the same, encounter the other
Seek out conflicting opinions to your own; embrace the weird and unusual; run from cookie-cutter mediocrity.
On Tablet 2, practical actions to counter the symptoms of Optimaddiction:
- Detach from your smartphone
Described as both a digital workplace and a digital confessional, the smartphone tethers us to Achievement Society. - Do things purely for the sake of joy
Reject the demand to always be productive and do things purely for the sake of doing them. - Buy beautiful physical objects
In a world of ephemeral, digital non-things, invest in real things with presence, physical objects you love to touch, look at, and have around. - Create new forms of ritual and connection
The paradox of a hyper-connected society is that we are more isolated than ever. The rituals that inform our societies are disappearing. Create new forms of connection to experience with others. - Take naps
“In a world that’s all about growth, efficiency, and optimization, rest becomes counterculture. Moreover, in a consumer culture and an attention economy, rest becomes a form of resistance.” — Tricia Hersey
Each of these prompts will be the subject of individual posts. But before we dive in, should doubt or suspicion be swirling in your mind, let’s anticipate some objections.
Self Un-Help
Ten prompts. Perhaps some significance to that number?
No idea. You’d need to ask the Oracle.
“Oh come on!”, I hear someone yell via a #react video on Instagram Reels. “10 prompts?! Isn’t this just self-help in ChatGPT’s clothing? Some kind of Moses-inspired mandate? A Jordan Peterson-esque list of rules without the Canadian accent?!”
Erm, no. Here’s why…
Firstly, these are not rules. They are guidelines and observations, blended from people who have thought long and hard about what better can look like. They are not prescriptive, there is room for interpretation. The last thing I’m interested in is another set of rules. Critical thinking is already outsourced to lists, frameworks, and algorithms — please add, delete, and remix these to suit your individual needs.
Secondly, ten is a nice round number, and broken into two sections becomes easier for our emaciated attention spans to digest. See note above re: adding, deleting, and remixing.
Finally, as regards self-help, not conforming to the status quo doesn’t tend to make life easier, especially when you continue to live within the status quo. But it can make it immeasurably more satisfying. Most likely, it becomes harder, or at least, uncomfortable. Just ask Peter Gibbons of Office Space and his radical act of defiance regarding TPS reports.
In many ways, you can think of I Am Not A Product as self ‘un-help’. Self un-help is a niche market. Adopting self un-help requires the ability to take an outsider’s perspective that considers possible alternatives. Many Optimaddicts don’t have the imagination to make this leap, as nuance is not a feature of Achievement Society. It’s go hard or go home.
However, life is not black and white, and the answers are found mostly in the greys. Between destructive optimization on one hand and depressed inertia on the other, there is a balance to be found.
The myth of creativity
Occupying this in-between space requires creativity and bravery. It requires being comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty.
Peddlers of Optimaddiction mistakenly believe they personify this, that they are unique challengers of the status quo, anointed love-children of Kylie Jenner and Andy Elliot, baptized in the sweat of David Goggins.
I hate to ruin the whole ‘I’m so special’ thing for them, but…
In reality, Optimaddicts tend to operate within a narrow set of parameters and have a rigid, if not puritan, view of the ‘correct’ way to live. You must get up at 5am, you must not drink, you must read 50 books a week…anyone who disagrees lacks ambition, is an under-achiever, or a loser.
The creativity required to live a nuanced life is the opposite. But it does lead to the objection that to be original you must be some kind of wacky, artistic misfit, all jazz hands and Post-It notes.
This is a common misconception. While it’s true that many originals are eccentric and unconventional, many are ‘ordinary’ people brave enough to chart a unique path.
Creative does not equal artistic. Creative equals the act of creation. The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘creative’ as ‘relating to or involving the use of the imagination or original ideas to create something’.
That something can be a life, an equation, a bridge, or a casserole. The key requirements are imagination and originality. Messy insecurity is part of the package. But if you’re doing it for yourself, and not for validation from others, the uncertainty becomes less threatening.
Also, the potential discomfort of stepping into the unknown works is universal, regardless of your background.
Maternal wisdom
Nick Cave, famous singer-songwriter, beloved by fans worldwide, tells the story of accepting an honorary degree:
I had been awarded an honorary doctorate by Monash University in Melbourne and my mother accompanied me to the university to receive it. I was feeling a little intimidated by the whole thing because I was stepping out of my rock ’n’ roll comfort zone, into the academic sphere and the whole affair had me feeling quite uncomfortable. I mentioned this to my mother, and as we stepped out of the car into the university grounds, she said,
“Head high and fuck ’em all.”
I could say that kicking Optimaddiction and living an original life simply requires having the courage to do so. But we know it’s not that easy. Few people can honestly live free from the opinions of others, especially when raised in a world where Likes and Followers are the measures of worth.
So we will explore each of these ten prompts in detail, and figure out together the what, why, and how of living on our terms.
In the meantime, should doubt or insecurity set in, should Optimaddicts storm your social media feed with digital pitchforks and flaming hashtags, may the words of Nick Cave’s Mum ring in your ears:
Head high and fuck 'em all.
Because if there’s one universal truth, it’s that mothers are always right.
Next time on IANAP…we explore Prompt 1 and Nietzsche makes a cameo.
