How Not To Treat People When You Are Disappointed
As an entrepreneur, the thought of gaining a new client is exciting.
Combine that with being a NEW entrepreneur and you can hardly contain your enthusiasm. This may include accepting a client that asks you to do work you know you can do but wouldn’t necessarily choose again.
At least not on purpose.
But hey, it’s money coming in.
And when you’re just starting out you need all the foundational income and recommendations you can get.
Over the past four months I’ve been working extensively on a whitepaper. Let’s just say I hadn’t done that much heavy research since my college days.
Package that up with one-on-one interviews with subject matter experts, rough drafts, image selection, writing and editing, I must admit I was pretty proud of my hard work.
Believe me when I say it was hard work.
Throughout the process there was constant communication with my client. They always seemed content with the progress.
Once the final draft was delivered it took three weeks to here back from them.
I figured, no news is good news, right?
Then the shit hit the fan.
Not only did it hit. It kept splattering everywhere until all I wanted to do was leave the room and never come back.
The email mentioned there were a few revisions. I opened the document without thinking twice. After all, I’ve done this hundreds of times before.
Wow.
If I knew better I would have thought my work had been abducted by aliens. At first glance it looked as if every single word had been analyzed and prodded.
Having been a professional editor for the past 15 years I’ve come across a lot of writing that needed reworking. I have been used to working with subpar work, but at the same time had developed thick skin for my own set of constructive criticism.
In fact, I always welcomed it.
But this wasn’t constructive criticism. And if it was, someone needs a lesson in empathy.
For example:
1. I understand that you may not like a certain sentence. I get your point but was using exclamation points to express yourself necessary?
2. Don’t assume the person you’re speaking with hasn’t done their homework. If what you read doesn’t match with your expectations perhaps the initial communication was flawed, not the writing.
3. Nobody knows your product and idea as much as you do. I can do my best, but I will never match up with what’s really in your head.
4. See point #1 again. Did you really need to say, “I would not say that!” I mean, did you think I would purposely put you in a bad light?
5. Lastly, I appreciate edits. I strive to make things better. I just don’t appreciate being bullied through an exercise that we’re supposed to be on the same side of. Would you really speak to me this way in person? If so, I don’t want to meet you.
You have a right to be disappointed.
Whether the angst could have been prevented by having the right people at the initial conversations is something we’ll never know.
Regardless, we are here right now.
I’m not a problem solver. I’m a solutions seeker.
I would be a complete hypocrite if I didn’t treat those who disappointed me with the level of respect I’d expect in return.
Even though you’ve disappointed me I will:
- Put myself in your shoes. Perhaps you acted the way you did due to the hours, weeks or even years of expertise you have on the topic.
- Understand that you are under intense pressure to complete your project. Therefore, what you communicate may be overshadowed by stress.
- Accept that your comments should not be taken personally but rather as a dialogue that is purely business.
- Realize that electronic communication is often misconstrued, making things sound worse than they really are.
- Give you the benefit of the doubt that perhaps you are having a bad day. We are all human after all.
No matter how good you are, disappointment happens to the best of us. It’s part of life.
The good news is that is builds character, stamina and if you survive the initial upset, gives you the competitive advantage of knowing what sorts of things to dodge the next time around.
You never know what you’re going to get in the game of entrepreneurship.
The important thing is to stay in the game.
Every once in a while, you’ll get a hit or two and eventually, with some practice, a home run.
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