I Still Don’t Know What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Andrea Claudia

Published in

WORTHY

4 min readDec 16, 2017

When I was eight I had it figured out.

I was fascinated with animals. But most specifically I wanted to help animals.

Every single one of them.

I couldn’t wait to grow up and be a veterinarian, seeing all types of pets every day.

I’ve wanted a dog since I was the size of a peanut in my mother’s womb.

Unfortunately, since we moved every two years, my parents did not allow me to have one. At least not until we knew we were going to settle down in one location for a while.

That didn’t stop me though.

I managed to find a pet in anything I could find outside, take care of and name.

I’ve had unofficial pet worms, fireflies, squirrels, birds and ladybugs.

Anything alive was fair game.

But I was a good girl, I knew my limits and made sure they were all well taken care of outside the house.

Then a miraculous moment came in second grade.

My parents let us watch some fish for some friends going on vacation.

The best part? The fish got to come to OUR house.

I remember all of my attempts to play with them, watching while they swam aimlessly around their limited sphere of glass.

It didn’t seem right.

I wanted to free them. Take them to a lake so they can enjoy being fish.

Fast forward three years and I graduated to pet turtles.

Teeny tiny water turtles to be exact.

I remember barely using two fingers to lift them up each day from their modest plastic playpen.

I took them on fieldtrips consisting of swimming in my bathroom sink, drinking water directly from the faucet and running around on the carpet in my room.

(Shhhh, my mother doesn’t know I did that.)

If they weren’t so small I would have tried taking them for a walk.

Seriously, I would have.

I never believed size mattered. Life mattered.

To me, everything is on an equal playing field if it has a heart.

I never stopped hoping.

There wasn’t a day that I didn’t ask for a dog.

Then it happened.

On August 1988 I got a cocker spaniel puppy.

It was amongst the most glorious days of my life.

My parents never had to remind me to take care of “the dog.” Cockie quickly became my everything.

Decades later, I’ve been fortunate enough to share my life with five additional dogs.

Besides my children, there’s seriously nothing more in life that brings me so much joy.

And yes, I still continue to unofficially adopt squirrels, bunnies and ducks that happen to pass by my house each day.

These days, my day is not complete without taking a cracker break with Oreo the duck.

Being surrounded by animals made my love for them grow fonder.

But it also made me realize I was meant to help them in a different way.

I’m not the type to be able to stick needles in living beings or for that matter, perform operations.

The life I had figured out at age eight had taken a detour.

Since medicine was no longer in my future, family and societal pressure kicked in.

Having had writing as a strength, I focused on communications, which then led to public relations and marketing work.

For many years thereafter, I succeeded at my trade but did not feel fulfilled.

Six months ago I decided to say no more.

I no longer wanted roles that made me “look good.” I now wanted to “feel good.”

I wanted to reconnect with the passion I felt at eight years of age.

Whether it was working with animals, or any living being that felt they did not have a voice.

Now in my forties, I no longer look at what I want to be when I grow up. I choose to just grow.

The “what I want to be when I grow up” has turned into a “how I want to be when I grow up.”

There are days I want to oversee an animal shelter, while there are others where I want to write full time to just inspire.

If you’re like me, the pressure to stick with one thing is stressful. I’ve found I do best when I can focus on giving back, rather than just receiving.

Stop thinking so much and just be.

Continue to learn. Continue to grow.

Keep experimenting.

But most importantly, let you heart guide you and do what “feels” right.

The beauty of life is that every day you can try something new.

Don’t limit yourself to be just one thing.

We are all multidimensional. Enjoy your likes and your strengths. But most importantly, have fun and stay passionate.

Be fearless. Own who you are and love it. Join our journey of empowerment by following us and/or sharing your story. Contact Andrea at andrea@sparkstory.co for more details.