11 Signs You Might Be My Mom’s Kid

And By Extension, My Long-Lost Sibling, I Guess

1. You find yourself, in moments of vexation, using expressions like, “Boogers and snot!”
2. You have ever, or will ever, refer to someone as “a dinkle-dwarf”.
3. You feel really guilty if you only use a plastic Ziploc ™ bag once before throwing it away.
4. You feel really guilty if you only use a paper towel once before throwing it away.
5. You feel really guilty if you only use a Kleenex ™ once before — ok, I’m just kidding.
6. You question everything.
7. You have an innate need to use things for something other than their intended function.
8. Growing up, you automatically got the day off of school for the premiere of any Star Wars, or Lord of the Rings movie.
9. Some of your best childhood memories involve having books way above your “suggested reading level” read out loud, and not having the foggiest idea what was going on.
10. You knew “The Chronicles of Narnia” by heart before you knew how to read.
11. You have long, long phone conversations with your Mom that invariably end with one of you saying: “OK I have to go because I really need to go to the bathroom.”

If you can nod along with more than five of these and think you might be my long-lost sibling, reach out to me in the comments.