Confession Time: We Are Super Lame, You Guys
“We should really go to Goodwill and find a vase to put our dead grass in.” — My husband, in complete and total seriousness.
Today I feel the need to lay my soul bare. My readers (yes, as long as there is more than one, I can say that in the plural) deserve it. I don’t want to be a pretender anymore.
When all you know of a person is what they choose to show you on the internet, it can be easy to get the impression that they are much, much cooler than they are. Reader, I have sinned: I have not been cool these past 5 years or longer.
Other people talk about being lame, but we have surpassed them all. Other people talk about how they never do anything but sit in their pajamas and binge-watch TV shows on Netflix. Ha! I only wish we were in the same tier of coolness as people who sit in their pajamas and binge-watch TV shows on Netflix. See, we’re too cheap for Netflix. We had Amazon Prime for a while, but we got tired of paying for it and they never had anything we wanted to watch that was free. We are cheap and we are prudes. It doesn’t leave us with a lot of options. This is how we end up watching a lot of documentaries on youtube (recently we discovered that you can actually stream PBS documentaries from their website for free — life-changing). It’s also how we ended up watching every season of This Old House dating back to 1995 (not to be confused with the companion series, Ask This Old House, which we have also definitely binge-watched). We feel like Kevin, Tommy, Rich and Roger are pretty much family now (OK, Roger is probably like a guy who was married to our aunt once but they divorced 10 years ago but we still send him a Christmas card). Last night we were watching an episode from 2015 (the 2015 season is finally on youtube, woot woot!), and Kevin is wearing this shirt —
— and I’m all like “Honey! Honey, I have to have that!”, and I’m looking it up on the internet and find that this guy on Etsy makes them and that they have women’s sizes and … and then I realize that no one else within two decades of our age would even get it.
When we aren’t watching re-runs of This Old House, you can usually find us playing Age of Empires together. Not Age of Empires III, mind you — Age of Empires II, which, upon looking up just now, I found was released in 1999 (we do have Age of Empires III, I just refuse to play it). I can’t tell you how many of our evenings have started like this:
On Sunday we had a snow day from church, so we decided, since we had all day and no place to go, to get really crazy and break out Axis & Allies. To be specific (no puns), we decided to break out Axis & Allies: Pacific (because we definitely have 3 different versions of this game). Note: the image below is not from our game and it looks like the guy playing Japan is doing a lot better than I did playing Japan. Note 2: do not attempt to play this game together until you have passed the 2-year marriage mark, especially if one of you is good at it. I’m still not sure if our marriage is ready for Axis & Allies. Note 3: I lost.
We have had arguments over whether the Russians can really take credit for driving back Napoleon or whether it was just luck and Napoleon’s bad planning.
We are currently reading a biography of John Adams together. I read out loud while my husband re-finishes furniture that we got off of craigslist, garage sales, or the curb.
Our dog is named after Dmitri Shostakovich.
In conclusion: *to be read in a “simple peasant” voice* We are very lame. But we are very happy.
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