Conversation with My Wife (25)

All I want is some flowers somewhere, far away from cold winter’s air…

It’s the last weekend in February. The calendar is saying, “What part of ‘It’s still winter’ do you not understand, doofus?” But the thermometer insists it’s t-shirts and shorts weather.

My wife looks out the kitchen window at our backyard and exclaims:

DEB: “Honey, we have daffodils! Almost, anyway.”

I investigate, and yes, my wonderful wife speaks truly.

These would be blooming by now, if the weather hadn’t thrown a nasty cold snap into the mix. Not cold enough to kill them, though.

But it’s more than that, because the weeds and wildflowers are also blooming.

No clue what these are. But they’re pretty. Especially in February.

And that’s just in back.

ME: “Debster! Come check out the front!”

DEB: “Oh, honey! Crocus and mini-daffodils! Thank you!”

ME: “What did I do? Besides do my bit to add to the carbon load in the atmosphere?”

Those botanically-inclined may be saying, Wait, aren’t those tulip leaves next to the crocus? Why yes, yes they are! Won’t be long…

DEB: “You planted them, honey! You know I like flowers.”

This is true. Even in the winter months I have flowers for my lady.

Okay, yes, poinsettias are just pretty leaves, not flowers. Pick, pick, pick. Deb likes them, that’s enough.

DEB: “You treat me better than I deserve, Jackster.”

ME: “I treat you not one iota better than you deserve, and you get not a single benefit you have not earned, my Debster, my love! You give me a life far better than one filled with flowers.”

And in a corner of the backyard the rose bush is starting to push its way out of the mulch…

Conversations with My Wife (collection)