Black people didn’t ask you to ‘save’ them

Why the savior complex is so exhausting to those who didn’t ask you to be

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Photo credit: (left) Engin Akyurt/Pexels, (right) Ameer Basheer/Unsplash

Recommended Read: “10 ways to figure out if (s)he really has ‘a black friend’ ~ Note: This may not apply for all black people, but it applies to enough

So how do you rid yourself of the savior complex?

Recommended Read: “If you’re not a minority, why are you so sure of your anti-racism tourism? ~ White people, please stop telling me to leave America to escape racism

Fifth step: Quietly observe how often this person thanks you to others. What really confirms whether you were helpful in a person’s life is how often they go out of their way to thank you — be it in a speech, a “thank you” card, casual conversation, a board meeting, or introducing you to family members and friends by what you did. If you have managed to stop telling said person why they owe you all kinds of thanks but are constantly telling their social circle (or worse, boring the bejesus out of your own social circle) about why they need to thank you, you’re choosing a roundabout way to still be a savior.

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I Do See Color

“Seeing” color is no more a problem than “seeing” height.

Shamontiel L. Vaughn

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

I Do See Color

We are not ashamed of our melanin, and we know you “see” it. Just don’t discriminate and disrespect us because of it.

Shamontiel L. Vaughn

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

I Do See Color

We are not ashamed of our melanin, and we know you “see” it. Just don’t discriminate and disrespect us because of it.

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