MTV’s ‘Ghosted’: Find Rachel and Whitney the world’s smallest violin

Why I’m not interested in Rachel Lindsay’s views on Chris Harrison of ‘The Bachelor’

Shamontiel L. Vaughn
Feb 14 · 7 min read
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Photo credit: Anna Shvets/Pexels

If you’ve never watched an episode of MTV’s “Ghosted” for the past two seasons, up until this weekend, I could’ve said, “Me neither.” But a preview of a new episode piqued my interest, and I decided to go back and watch all of Season 1 before moving into the new season. Although I still don’t quite understand why someone would get on national television to find out why another person didn’t care enough about them to separate amicably (whether it’s friendship or romantic relationships), “Ghosted” intrigues me more than “Catfish.” Why? By Season 2 of eight seasons of “Catfish,” viewers could predict the end of the episode by the beginning. And it’s usually because someone didn’t feel attractive. However, the reasons why people ghost another person vary.

While there have been episodes of “Ghosted” that make me cringe (the episode with “Kayla & Shawn” made me hide my eyes like it was a horror film), Season 1 with Whitney and Tahira has been the only one that left me irate. In Episode 7, I fully agree with one college friend ghosting another. And I understand why Tahiry’s two best friends in the dog park looked completely unimpressed when Whitney was so sad that Tahira didn’t want to talk to her. Not only would my response be the same, but I’d make sure Whitney didn’t touch my damn dog either!

SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen this episode, I’m about to ruin it for you.

While Whitney and Tahira considered each other as best friends in college and were the first guests ever to hug each other upon first eye contact, I wondered, “How bad could it be?” It turned out Tahira ghosted Whitney because she was a Trump supporter and voted for him in 2016. Not only that, but she also posted Instagram photographs on Inauguration Day 2017 defending his pitiful crowd size. Just like that, I lost interest in Whitney’s crocodile tears. While I don’t agree with someone never telling you why they don’t want to deal with you, I fully understand the traumatic response of seeing something like that from someone you considered a real friend.

Whitney tried to explain her politics away, sniffing away and saying how her family has a steel company. She claim she voted for Trump for economical reasons and then indignantly stood on her soapbox to lecture Tahira about why ghosting someone is “so messed up.” Girl please! You know who gets killed from ghosting someone? No one. You know who was injured and/or killed by MAGA, Trump’s supporters? More than 140 officers alone on January 6, 2021 — and that’s not including people who got punched in the face for being anti-Trump like 61-year-old Mike Alter and 26-year-old Rakeem Jones long before the Capitol Riot.

In all fairness, the show aired pre-Capitol Riot, but it makes me no difference. I, personally, am far more confrontational than Tahira. I would’ve never waited two years to tell someone I’d been close with that I have an issue with their politics or opinions on race. Let everybody else tiptoe around you about it. I’m calling it out the millisecond I see it.

Everybody has a line drawn in the sand. My line may not be yours, but we all have one. I just cannot and will not befriend anyone who could vote or defend a white supremacist. This isn’t as simple as disagreeing over a different color or favorite foods. Trump is a man who cheers for people chanting about lynching— black and white. This is a man who is responsible for an entire group of white supremacists coming out and knocking out police officers (Blue Lives Matter fairweather fans, if you will), knocking down old men, running a woman over with a car and killing her, trying to kill Congress people and encouraging attacks on peaceful Black Lives Matter protesters. Mr. Grab Them By the Pussy is racking up sexual assault and rape cases like they’re baseball cards. He is also responsible for more than 27.4 million people infected with COVID-19. Who in their sober mind would vote for this idiot?

And judging from the 74 percent of non-white people who did not vote for him (94 percent of which were black women), we knew this was going to happen long before Election Day 2016. What’s worse is Trump would’ve won in 2020 without people of color voting in droves — and that was before the Capitol Riot.

Why is Rachel Lindsay mad at a black woman for not wanting Trump friends?

So I was immediately perplexed by Rachel Lindsay of “The Bachelor” being so vocal that she was mad at Tahira for ghosting Whitney. According to Lindsay, “If you had a different political view, it is your responsibility to be able to speak your piece and use it as a platform and educate that person. And I’m upset with her that she didn’t do that.”

No, Rachel Lindsay, it is not the responsibility of black women to walk around educating white people. That’s what history class, the news and the school system are for. Somehow Lindsay was more “upset” with a black woman distancing herself from a Trump supporter than the woman who voted for Trump!

I could not disagree more. I’m fully aware of the large amount of white people who comment on this series of “I Do See Color” posts. But make no mistake about it. I didn’t start this column to educate white people. I started it with the intention of talking to black people and people of color. White Medium users have curiously gravitated to it far more than I expected. Whatever works.

Minus three specific Medium users who I know are white and am delighted to see their avatars in my comment section, I could take or leave the rest of the comments. They too often do exactly what Whitney did on “Ghosted”— the equivalent of bursting into tears, making themselves into the victims, overlooking Trump’s racism and not taking personal accountability into consideration. I simply do not have the time nor the energy for these tears anymore. You’re either going to own up to it or leave black people alone.

Then here comes the curious outrage over ‘The Bachelor’ host Chris Harrison

But somehow Lindsay went from saying she was mad at another black woman for not wanting to befriend a white woman who is a Trump supporter to being magically woke when it came to “The Bachelor” host Chris Harrison mouthing off about Rachael Kirkconnell’s plantation sorority photos.

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Photo credit: Cottonbro/Pexels

Both white women (Kirkconnell and Whitney) made extremely poor decisions that were insensitive to black people. At least Kirkconnell took her plantation photos with all white (and clearly middle-finger-to-the-sky-regarding-slavery) women. I would’ve winced more if black women were in her pics being equally clueless. Whitney had a genuine black friend, with black immigrant parents, and still voted for Trump. She had the opportunity to look at her vote from a different perspective and still chose her own privilege over this friend she stalked into coming onto reality TV. (And considering I’ve never watched “The Bachelor” and only watched “The Bachelorette” when Lindsay was on the show, I couldn’t care less about what Harrison or Kirkconnell have to say about anything.)

I just do not understand where Lindsay is coming from. Why be mad at Tahira for exiting the stage from a Trump-supporting friend but be so vocal about Harrison? Both decisions were horrendous. Oddly Travis (the white, male co-host of “Ghosted”) seemed oddly more understanding of why Tahira didn’t want to be bothered with Whitney; he even guessed that as her initial reason for ghosting Whitney. Meanwhile Lindsay is mouthing off about why black women should be OK with befriending people with opposing political views. Should we be cool with folks posted up for plantation pics, too? Same shitty behavior.

We live in such a world that not all black women and people of any identity must agree on a topic. (Look no further than the differing opinions on the “Gorilla Glue” story because I’m never ever budging from that.) Black women, as with any other group of women, have a right to disagree on any and everything we damn well please. But I simply cannot nor will I ever understand a black woman who can call out a TV host for defending plantation photos, then turn around and be “upset” at another black woman who didn’t want to be friends with a white woman who was proud of her White Supremacist in Chief.

People have one life to live and full control over befriending and dismissing anyone they wish to. And if a person does not want to befriend a person of differing politics, it is a waste of time to get mad at them about it. Friendship is not mandatory. If you don’t understand why we’re at arm’s length or ghosting MAGA, then that’s for your fingers, Google and a credible history book to figure out. That’s not the “responsibility” of black women.

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I Do See Color

“Seeing” color is no more a problem than “seeing” height.

Shamontiel L. Vaughn

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

I Do See Color

We are not ashamed of our melanin, and we know you “see” it. Just don’t discriminate and disrespect us because of it.

Shamontiel L. Vaughn

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

I Do See Color

We are not ashamed of our melanin, and we know you “see” it. Just don’t discriminate and disrespect us because of it.

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