Only seeing upsides to #BlackMenDontCheat hashtag

Shamontiel L. Vaughn
Aug 16 · 3 min read
Photo credit: Create Her Stock

If you’ve listened to at least a handful of New York’s The Breakfast Club interviews, Donkey of the Day segments or even “Tell ’Em Why You Mad,” then you’re already familiar with one-third of the hosts (Charlamagne Tha God) promoting the #BlackMenDontCheat hashtag. Rapper/comedian Lil Duval, a close friend of Charlamagne’s, even got in on it with this particular song.

And while there are clearly examples — including both of them — of a laundry list of past incidents proving otherwise, I’m 100 percent in support of the hashtag. Why? I actually do know quite a few black men who have never cheated. (Yes, they’re telling the truth. I’m dating none of them and have no connection to their girlfriends or wives, so they have no reason to cover their butts.) Can I count off a laundry list of brothas I do know who’ve cheated? Yes. And that list is much longer. But it still doesn’t discredit my shorter list of less-famous Barack Obamas and Papooses of the world.

Women, especially black women, have heard enough negative song lyrics, hashtags and conversations from men basically cackling about cheating. Finally this comedic duo is letting black men know it’s not corny to actually be in a monogamous relationship. And Team Monogamy can stop being quiet about it. (If you’ve ever read Hill Harper’s book “The Conversation,” he calls out happily married men who remain super quiet about it while unhappily married men cannot wait to tell you everything they can’t stand about their significant others.)

Photo credit: Create Her Stock

So if Lil Duval and Charlamagne Tha God can get brothas to cheer on and actually execute the hashtag with the same flourishing energy that they’ve done with “What that mouth do?” let them. If they want to recruit for the “Faithful Black Men Community,” get your membership applications ready. Black women need more members to join.

Of course there will be the entitled group who will most definitely #AllLivesMatter the situation. This group is usually the same one that complains about why people bring up race and think Black History Month is too long, all while wildly celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. This is the group who has a cloud over their heads every single time any positive pattern is coming from a minority group. If this particular group is really that annoyed by any hashtag that doesn’t include them, no one is stopping you from complimenting your own loyal family and friends.

On a separate note, hip-hop has been influential in everything from boardrooms to baby clothes. And R&B songs just don’t slap quite like Lil Duval’s song does — minus “sangers” like the Hamiltones.

I don’t usually two-step around the room to a monogamy anthem. If this #BlackMenDontCheat hashtag can make young, black boys especially want to reevaluate their lifestyles and put more energy into one person at a time (the whole time), have your day, fellas. Enjoy!

This post was originally published on June 12, 2019 on Chicago Now’s “Message from Montie” blog.

I Do See Color

These are writings on race, gender and social justice. Ditch tokenism, embrace diversity.

Shamontiel L. Vaughn

Written by

14-year journalist; freelance writer/editor (Upwork); Wag! dog walker; Rover dog sitter; Unity Toastmasters member and 4x officer; Visit Shamontiel.com

I Do See Color

These are writings on race, gender and social justice. Ditch tokenism, embrace diversity.

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