Why We Need Sex

February 5, 2016 — 1 Corinthians 7:1–5

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

How we view sex has a ton of influence on how we view the gospel. The union of a man and a woman is not built on promises, but rather on the joining of their bodies together in a mysterious and beautiful way through sex. Throughout the Bible, the picture of marital intimacy is used to illustrate what Christ’s relationship is to the church, and understandably it makes us a little uncomfortable to talk about sex and union with Christ in the same breath. I think that’s the point.

Just as Josie and my union was initiated on the first night of us together it is vitally important that we continue that unity through regular reaffirmations of that unity through our marital intimacy. While we were going though premarital counseling with our pastor we talked about the inevitability of conflict arriving in our marriage. The long and short of our conversation was that it was not coming to agreement that restored our unity, but that in our conflict we were not truly believing that our oneness could not be broken. Therefore coming together and having sex was the affirmation of what we knew to be true, even if we didn’t feel like it was — we are one.

What God has made one, nothing can tear apart. This is just as true in our union with Christ, as it is with my union with my wife. Paul commands that husbands and wives completely give themselves over to one another so that they continue to live out the reality of their oneness — otherwise it is easy to become persuaded by our enemy that that unity isn’t as strong as we thought it was. That is why sex is so important, and regular sex is important. It teaches us the truth.

Not only the truth of our marriage however, but also the truth of our union to Christ. Just as a husband and wife’s union comes through the sacrament of sex, our union with Christ comes through the sacrament of baptism. I want to be very clear here; I am not saying that baptism is the way to be saved. As stated in my doctrinal position catechism, I believe that salvation comes by grace through faith — so it is by no work of man that we come into union with Christ. However I think that the sacrament of baptism is a vital part of our salvation by which that grace is communicated through water.

So if you ask me, “can you be married and not have sex?” I would probably ask you if you knew what marriage was. It is not that I don’t think that those who are unable to have sex for example can’t be married, I just don’t think it makes sense to talk about marriage without sex, and I think that is how the apostles talked about baptism. “Can you be saved without being baptized?” Don’t you understand what your baptism is? The thief on the cross is the exception that we can find comfort in, but not base our theology on. Just because you can be saved without being baptized doesn’t mean that you should. Just because you can be married without sex doesn’t mean that is the better way.

Therefore, just as our baptism is the means by which our union with Christ is communicated to us through water, communion is the way that we are constantly reminded of our unbreakable union in Christ communicated through bread and wine. It is so important that we are reminded of the reality that we are actually one with Christ, and one with His body. That is why Jesus wanted us to “do this as often as you meet.” It is the reminder of what is true, and the intermingling of Christ’s body and blood with ours to sustain and reignite that union.