Can You Ace Trump’s Dementia Test?
If you answer these 5 questions correctly, you are a genius. A very stable one.
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Disclaimer: This story is intended to be satirical. This is NOT an actual dementia test, although it is based on a real one. If you suspect that you or someone you know suffers from dementia, please consult with your doctor.
As we all know, Trump recently passed a dementia test.
Actually, he didn’t just pass it, he aced it. He did something most people can’t. But we had no doubt, right? Surely Donald is one of the smartest people alive, why wouldn’t he ace it?
You can’t possibly expect to be nearly as smart as Donald, but you can take a similar version of his test to realize how cognitively inferior you are when compared to him.
Question #1 - Easy
Read the words in the picture carefully.
Without looking at the picture again, can you recall which words were there?
A. China, hoax, Obama, disinfectants, UV
B. Pussy-grabbing, Ivanka, golf, Fox News, Twitter
C. Person, woman, man, camera, TV
D. Fake news, Mexican wall, global warming, shithole countries, covfefe
The correct answer is C. This question wasn’t really hard and you probably answered it correctly.
In that case, you are smart enough to get a normal college education. You can find a high-paying job and become a fully productive member of society.
Question #2 - Hard
Which animal is in the picture?
A. Dog
B. Giraffe
C. Fish
D. Duck
The correct answer is B. This was a bit more cognitively demanding, you may have gotten it wrong. Don’t worry, most people do.
But if you answered it correctly, you are smart enough to pursue a Ph.D. in high-impact research areas. You have the cognitive ability to cure most diseases and invent wonderful technology. Your work will be fundamental in shaping our future society.
Question #3 - Insane
What time is it?
A. 11:10
B. 1:55
C. 2:11
D. 2:55
The correct answer is B. This question was almost impossible and even most Mensa members fail at this point. Your IQ must be very high if you answered it correctly.
In that case, you have the capability to start trillion-dollar businesses from scratch over and over again. You may invent a cure for cancer and fix climate change. You may win several Nobel prizes. Your name will be in all future history books.
Question #4 - Impossible
Count backward from 100 by 7.
A. 100, 93, 85, 78, 71
B. 100, 93, 85, 77, 70
C. 100, 93, 86, 79, 72
D. 100, 93, 85, 79, 72
The correct answer is C. This question is so difficult that, if you answered it correctly, no IQ test could ever quantify your level of intelligence. There may be just a couple of people like you in the world.
In that case, your intellect far surpasses high-thinkers like Einstein and Da Vinci. You see reality under different lenses. You think faster and see the world in slow-motion. You can read a whole book in less than a second. You have synesthesia, eidetic memory, X-ray vision, telekinesis, and mind-control powers. You can also see the future and artificially generate Karens at your whim.
Question #5 - God-Like
What was the correct answer to the first question?
A. Giraffe
B. Person, woman, man, camera, TV
C. 100, 93, 86, 79, 72
D. 1:55
The correct answer is B. It’s impossible that you answered it correctly, unless you guessed. This question is so difficult that only Donald seems to have been able to ace it so far.
But if you answered it correctly, which is impossible, your brain waves are so powerful that they can bend the inner fabric of space-time. You can control the whole universe, create and end civilizations, defy the laws of physics, travel faster than light and through time, become 45th President of the United States. You are basically a God, the only person smarter than you is probably Donald himself.
How many of them did you answer correctly?
The guy who admittedly aced this test is the most powerful person in the world as of 2020 (although the official Forbes list hasn’t been updated yet) and everybody is affected by his decisions. I am not even American, but for the love of God, the world doesn’t need four more years of memes and, most importantly, hundreds of thousands of deaths. Watch this South Park episode and make the right choice.
It is what it is.
