Get Real About What You Want
It’s a slow death. A subtle kind of hell.
This is what life is like when you don’t know what you want.
So are you happy floating through life, or constantly churning on the hamster wheel of work and progress?
I didn’t think so. It’s about time to check in with yourself and figure out what you really want.
Turn the damn phone off. Unplug the screens and get still.
It’s uncomfortable. You may not like what you see. But that’s okay.
Now here you are putting a tonnage of undo pressure on yourself. Then you put it on your kids, other family members, your friends. It’s the pressure of “I have to do something great with my life.” The result? — A slow burning shame, a lurking anxiety, an emptiness you can’t describe.
The diagnosis: You don’t know what you want. The symptoms: All the above. But…
There is a cure.
Two simple questions will pull you out of the spiral:
1. Why do you think that? 2. What does that even mean?
Asking these two simple questions will lead to a powerful re-framing that will begin to spin upon the wheel of your life.
Ready for your paradigm to change?
I thought so. Let’s move on.
Why do you think that?
I want to do something great…I want to change the world.
Greatness?
Phrases as listed above are acts of cultural appropriation. You’ve spent years being subconsciously inundated with requirements for world-changing contributions in your life. What isn’t taught are the granular and practical methods you can put in place to actually “be great” or “change the world.”
Doing something great does not mean being the best _______(insert profession/task here) in history. By applying this as your goal, you’ve narrowed your field and set yourself up for failure and depression. Instead, why not be the best you that you can be? This is greatness.
First, start by knowing that you are great. The fact that you have survived this messy life thus far and are still standing makes you great. You are great because you exist. Boom. Now commit to learning how to unlock your inner greatness and defining what it means to you.
Create your own definition. Don’t buy into everything you’ve been told. There can only be one Michael Jordan. There can only be one Steve Jobs. Get it? Good.
So ask yourself…Why do you think you have to be the greatest ____________?
Ask yourself: “Why do I even think that?”
What does that even mean?
What is the significance? Seriously, you say you want to do something great with your life but do you even know what you’re talking about? Have you defined the terms or has it been the slow indoctrination of media madmen, parenting, and environment that has conditioned you to form your paradigm in such a way?
There can only be one Michael Jordan, one Oprah, one Tom Brady, one Usain Bolt etc. You’ve been trained to view these people as having great lives because of their outward accomplishments. Then you put them on a pedestal, forgetting that they are human beings like you. These outward accomplishments do not necessarily mean they are living a great life. Your lack of outward accomplishment does not mean you aren’t on the brink or in the midst of greatness.
If all that you “want” to be “great” is external it will turn to dust.
Run, rabbit, run.
You may not be destined to be the best basketball player or fastest person of all time. Remember, there can only be one.
What do you want? You think you know now? Good.
Answer the question. Define it in your terms. Then ask yourself: Why do I think that?
The answers may surprise you. The simplicity at which you arrive may also surprise you.
Godspeed on the journey.
