Today is World Environment Day. 2200 people gathered in Nepal to break the Guinness World Record for Treehugging. Of all the disses levelled at the save-the-world set, Treehugger is the least insulting and most calming. Have you ever hugged a tree? It’s a surprisingly wonderful thing to do. Not sappy at all.

I have hugged all manner of tree. Big ones, bitty ones, hard ones, fruity ones. I try to be mindful of the ones that don’t want to be hugged. Not every tree wants a sweaty human body to envelop it unsolicited.

We shut down as messages of environmental catastrophe escalate. The only way to combat this is by burying the kale in the ice cream. Or being funny about it. In this analogy, treehugging is the ice cream. I’ll take what I can get.