The ten ways jargon is destroying your brand

Why jargon is bad for your health

Dimitri Lambermont
I. M. H. O.

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1. If I don’t get it, I won’t get it.
If I don’t understand what you are telling me… I will leave. That is the golden rule of internet. Explain your intentions clearly and I might (and this a big MIGHT) click on your Call to Action. Don’t make it hard for me. The Back-button is my favorite button. So be clear.

2. You are alienating yourself from the person on the other side of the screen.
Every piece of jargon makes you (and thus your company) less human. And we could all use a little more humanity online. Don’t be an alien.

3. You sound pompous.
You are inflating your own ego when you use jargon. Really. It’s mental masturbation. Maybe that is not how you see it, but that’s how your reader will see it. What a pompous prick!

4. You sound like you are afraid.
Jargon is safety. It is a vague word to hide behind. It is synonym to a fearful, frightened outlook on life. It takes boldness to be clear. It takes ‘balls of brass’ to be open.

5. It makes you look lazy.
You didn’t even take the time to try to translate your jargon into something I can understand? Buh-bye!

6. Even your peers don’t care.
But that is the way we all speak! So what. If jargon is the way you all speak, should you just conform?
Let me reveal something to you. Your peers don’t have the buying power. The one with buying power is the lone person behind the computer screen looking for a little clarity in an ocean of bullshit.

7. You are not distinguishing yourself from the competition.
Well everybody else is doing it! Yes. And everybody else also sounds pompous, afraid and far from human. Is that what you want? Really want?

8. Jargon makes your website look fat.
Really. All those important pompous words… they are filler. Not killer. Aim for killer. Forget about the fat for a while. Be bold in your statements. Be clear.

9. Jargon plays into our paranoia.
Jargon reeks of fear. If we just put some jargon in there… they won’t realize how bad our product really is. Might not be the case, but paranoia is lurking around the corner. Buying is a painful process and we are always looking for signs we might be getting screwed. Don’t feed the paranoia.

10. You leave room for wrong interpretations.
Jargon can mean anything. It could go either way. I might understand what you are actually offering. Or I might read something entirely different in your language. Which means I will have to call your call-centre to get a human to explain it to me. Or I’ll cause a shitstorm on Social Media. Costs which could have been saved, if you had just taken the time to eliminate your jargon.

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Dimitri Lambermont
I. M. H. O.

Strategic Copywriter — Speaker. Destroyer of jargon, management speak and corporate bullshit. www.dimitrilambermont.com