Living in a Startup Bubble
Why startup life is different and why others often don’t understand just how different it is.
Startup life is a different way of living and working. It is challenging, risky, hard work, exciting, fun, and often just plain crazy. It is definitely hard to explain what it’s like to people who aren’t a part of it.
I have been the partner of a startup guy for many years now and at the same time I’ve also had my own startups. Add to this our four young children (6, 4, 2 and newborn), and you’ll understand our startup life is pretty full on.Startup life is so part of our life that it is far more than just our work, it is our life. The more I’ve tried to explain things to friends and family, the more I’ve realised that startup life is a bubble and really not like other ways of living and working. When I speak to friends who are also in startups the relief is amazing. And then I realise even more that what we are doing and the way we are living is not the same as everyone else. That’s not to say it’s any better or worse than anything else but it is different.
It takes belief
Startup life is not an easy option. It takes enormous commitment and a huge amount of risk. And this can be hard to balance with having a relationship and children.
It often feels like the startup is everything and far more important than our relationship. There have been so many times when I’ve felt like a startup widow. I think we are getting better at making sure that doesn’t happen. Changing some of the ways we work for a start. And having great communication is key to relationships and family life working together with a startup.
Sometimes the startup does actually have to come first. If you are taking a huge financial and professional risk, then at certain times the startup needs everything. This may not be right or fair but it’s reality and it’s part of the package. Work/life balance can be worked on but there are some points when a startup is all consuming.
Startup life takes a huge amount of belief in what you are doing and belief that you have what it takes to make it happen, or the skills/sense to hire the right people to make it happen. The risks are huge, so you have to believe in it completely. That belief can take a lot of energy and focus. For us as a startup couple, I know that our belief in each other’s abilities, ideas and strengths really helps fuel our own confidence in what we are doing.
Startup life is also about knowing when to move on if something isn’t working. ‘Fail fast, fail often’, is something we’ve learnt and is so important. That can take huge guts at the time and it can also take more of that belief in yourself/your partner to get through it. To know that just because something has failed, doesn’t mean that you as a person have failed. You just have to pick yourself up and move onto the next thing.
Startup is a process
The risks, the failures, the crazy hours, all take a lot of energy and commitment, and more belief that what you’re doing is the right thing. By that I mean, that startups are the right thing to be doing. What I have started to understand more and more about us, about our relationship, about the way we both work (together and as individuals) is that startup life is a process. It is how we work, it is how we are. A few years ago I think I thought of it as the path to get where we want to be one day. A path to making money. A path to success. And that one day the startup life would stop and all the craziness would be behind us.
In some ways I think some of that is true. One day we would like to own our own house. One day we’d like to look at something one of us has made and say, ‘yes that was the killer idea that made it big.’ But I also know that the way we are as people and the way we live and work won’t change. Startup life is our way of life. There will always be more ideas, more challenges, more connections, more opportunities. Life is less crazy and risky when there’s money in the bank. Startup life can be definitely be more manageable depending on the circumstances. Feeling happy and grounded with where you are living, having a healthy cashflow and working with the right people, are all things which have influenced how crazy and hard startup life can feel.Right now balancing startup life with our young children can be tricky at times to say the least. But I think we are getting better at finding the right balance for all of us and I do love that they are growing up watching both their parents build ideas and make things happen.
Enjoy the startup risk
For me, I think the hardest part of startup life is cashflow and financial risk, especially when you have a family.
We have experienced some very stressful times in the past and our finances have suffered hugely as a result of startuplife. One day I hope that’s not something we have to worry about but it’s a hard one to explain to people outside of startups.I don’t think many of our friends really know just how hard we’ve been pushed at times.
We have been at ‘search the house for spare change because we still haven’t been paid stage’ on several occasions and I’ve even had to change small notes of foreign currency in emergencies.
We could have both been in well-paid jobs since leaving university. I looked at law and other graduate jobs for a while, and sometimes look back and think ‘what if?’
The truth is though that there is nothing I’d rather be doing.To be in our startup bubble together. To have a shared way of life and a very creative way of life is so exciting. So many ideas, so much potential for what might come next. Yes it’s risky, exhausting at times, tough, far from easy and often absolutely crazy but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than in our startup bubble.
You can read more on Startup Wife. If you’re in a startup or are the partner of someone who is, I’d love to hear from you.
