Today is your day.
You’ve got your degree!
You’ll start your career as an interviewee.
You’re ready to go.
You know all your stuff.
But maybe you’ll find that that stuff’s not enough.
The people you’ll work for
Are the Valley’s elite.
So get ready to hear
of the Founders You’ll Meet!

Here’s Scotty Farnocky, a confident gent.
Should you sign up to be under his tent?
He certainly seems to give off a strong aura.
At least judging from his last answer on Quora.
His tweets are retweeted by those who retweet.
His LinkedIn profile is fully complete.
He’s leveraging social in all the best ways,
I wonder what else he does with his days.
He has to stay out there to generate buzz.
He has no idea what his company does.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
Such a curious bunch!
You’ll soon get to meet them,
If they show up for lunch!
They’ll give you a tour.
They’ll show you the kitchen.
They’ll try to explain the new model they’re pitching.

Hello, Danny Doodle.
Why, how does it go?
You certainly are quite a sharp startup bro.
You look like an actor.
You dress like a model.
You talk just as fast as you drink from that bottle.
Your business has failed but your funding is hearty.
I can’t help but think that you’re in this to party.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
They’re all so unique.
They certainly hold all the fortune you seek.
Believe what they say.
They all seem so sure.
They pitched to a guy who knew Dave McClure.

Meet Samuel Grunk,
With his new MBA.
I advise you to listen to what he will say.
He’s done all the work to refine all his pitches.
He’s found novel ways to scratch itchy itches.
The feedback resounds from all the resounders.
No, I don’t know any technical cofounders.

Oh, the founders you’ll meet!
You should love them a lot!
They’ve had to work hard to get where they’ve got.
Some know what they’re talking about.
Others are bunk.
Telling the difference is nothing but luck.

Who is it I see at that desk all alone?
He’s on some computer, ignoring his phone.
How will he tweet when he’s so busy coding?
Why can’t he see that his Klout is eroding?
He seems to have customers lined up at his feet.
Perhaps this is the type of founder you should actually meet.

Illustrations by Marni Kleper. Font: Doctor Soos