A Coffee Conundrum

An ode to the bold, robust, french and french vanilla.

Daily domination starts with that first cup of coffee.

I’ve got to be honest. I’m not a coffee shop person. I can’t pull my act together and trek to one of the 293847213051 (did I catch a niner in there?) coffee shops within walking distance. It’s not that I’m lazy. I just don’t understand how anyone is capable of doing anything without first having coffee. It’s a wicked, caffeinated catch 22.

Besides, it’s more than that. There’s just something special about my morning coffee ritual. It’s both energizing and relaxing all at the same time. I mean, really. There is nothing better than that initial whiff of freshly ground coffee, especially if you’re still rocking your favorite, slightly decrepit ducky pajama pants from Old Navy, circa 2002.

However, the coffee shop does have its perks-olators. Every cup is delicious every single time. Once I’ve let that lovely aroma dissipate, I’m faced with a recurring reality — I can’t brew a good pot of coffee consistently. I struggle with the same dilemma each morning. What is the correct coffee to water ratio? It’s like I develop a targeted case of amnesia between the hours of 7 and 9am. Then again, perhaps it’s the suspense and mystery that makes it so damn exciting. (I need a hobby.)

If love is a battlefield, coffee is a cold war. And there’s nothing worse than lukewarm coffee. Just ask my microwave.

Most of the time, I do get it right and it is amazing. Smooth, hot, and satisfying. (My coffee and my men have a lot in common. Oh!) The other times? It’s hot and sweet, because I drowned it in sugar. And lament.

What can I say? I love my morning coffee ritual, complete with its troubles and triumphs. The sounds, the smells, the tastes - it’s my favorite part of the day. Until it’s wine o’clock, but that’s another story.