Are we losing our ability to listen?

Your broadcast mode is showing

Rachel explained that the hardest part about dating is finding a guy who will listen.

That’s not a new complaint, but over the last few days it occurred to me that it might be caused by the way we broadcast everything to our social media followers.

We have grown so comfortable with sharing every aspect of our life and getting at least some amount of feedback that we have grown to believe we are much more interesting than we really are.

When you post a photo of your cat, and 3 people click on a faint blue hand in support of you, your brain interprets that as, “those 3 people found that interesting, which means they find me interesting, so I should share more.”

Now think of how YOU actually interact with your social network. Think about the “pity likes” you perform, the times you RT something because it’s a friend or business partner. Think about all the times you “hearted” someone’s Foursquare check-in just because you like the eatery, not so much the person.

I'm not saying you're a bore, but I am saying that you're probably not so interesting that you can carry a conversation all by yourself for 45 minutes.

The Test

Next time you're with someone, try listening. Rather than waiting for an opening to speak, just listen.

You'll know if you're getting it if there is 1 or 2 seconds of “dead air” between when your friend stops speaking, and when you start.