Be Yourself…
…the biggest lie they told you
From the time we are cognitively mature enough to understand the world around us, we are taught that being ourselves, or being unique is one of the most generous and rewarding things a person can do for him/herself. As a child, I remember singing along with Barney and his band of unusually happy, yet highly imaginative minions, songs with themes surrounding how special we all are. Mister Rodgers used to get in on the action too. After obsessively changing his shoes and cardigan, he would stare into the television, pierce through my soul, and sing “You Are Special”, reaffirming my belief that I am in fact: The Shit.
By the time I got to elementary school, the idea that I am someone one of importance and value, was cemented in my frontal lobe. This confidence helped me experience the joys of childhood with little to no fear. Aside from the occasional bad dream and that short sleep-walking stint, my nurtured self-esteem helped me developed my talents and I aspired for Michael Jackson-greatest. At 11 years-old, I knew I would have so much room for activities. Now, as a twenty-something, I’m beginning to think the idea of “being yourself”, is complete and total bullshit. I repeat. Bullshit!
Being “you” is never OK in a “normal world”. And by “normal” I mean whatever the socially acceptable pattern of behavior is for your given circumstance. For example, if you work in an office and you want to be marginally successful, you must behave in a way that is pleasing to whoever is in charge (or the masses). If your boss likes for you to wear gray suits every day because black suits remind him of being at a funeral— you wear gray. Fuck the fact that you are still adhering to the company dress code in a black suit. Fuck the fact that black is your signature color. Who gives a damn if gray washes you out or makes you look fat? Your boss says black is not socially acceptable so you wear gray because you want him to like you. Correction. You want him to like his version of you. He wants to see a reflection of himself. (Isn’t that the craziest, narcissistic, and most insecure shit you’ve ever heard?)
This concept it not limited to office behavior. This, my dears, is the way of the world. As an adult, “be yourself” means: be the person that makes me— your audience— the most comfortable. Name an environment— any environment— and I’ll show its unwritten list of socially acceptable norms alongside its list of all things unacceptable. Failure to adhere to these norms can result in social exclusion, social suicide, physical suicide, depression, alienation, and other adversities. For those of you who adhere to the childlike notion that you are at your coolest when you are the best version of you, have no fear! Do not fret.
Like with anything, there is a loop-hole to this theory. Some of you will be trendsetters; however, I must warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. On the journey to establishing yourself as an unadulterated original being, you will face hardship. People will make cruel judgments about you and try to deter you from your goal. You will be labeled an undesirable and shunned from your community. In some cases, you will elicit acts of extreme violence. You will fear for your sanity. You will question yourself, doubt yourself, and will possibly make an effort to reconnect with the masses by succumbing to the pressure; thus, abandoning your goal. DO NOT JUMP SHIP!
When it’s all over, someone just as original will notice you. This beacon of hope will comfort you. Wipe your wounds and introduce to others who took that path less traveled. They are waiting for you…so keep pushing.
The little people made of ticky-tacky that once shunned you will become your biggest supporters/ass lickers. When this happens, please remember: DO NOT wipe your butt after a massive shit. You will need that poo.
And that is a tip from me to you.
