Fifty Shades of Grey demistified

Key take-aways from my secret reading habits in the subway

Underground transportation in new york is a fascinating medium. I regularly seek trends in technology that will indicate some major shifts: who is using Instagram, % of people that read from a kindle, and other geek stuff i care about. One day though, I noticed most women where reading a very specific paperback novel. The fact that so many people were reading was already a surprise, let alone the fact that they all were reading the same book! It was Fifty Shades of Grey.

What later on really caught my attention was the inherent attraction that book had in the feminine audience, and why men were resistant to reading it: "Oh, no, I don't read those books". "Why?" I would ask, usually followed by the stare of a person who suddenly questions why he's even talking to you. My entrepreneurial spirit kicked in, and decided to explore this uncharted territory à la Edmund Hillary. This personal quest, my everest had the side-effect to further expand my understanding of the femal psyche. Also, I decided to broadcast my thoughts in a newsletter to all staff at Olapic.

I decided to purchase the Kindle copy. I would read it really close to my face, so my neighboring riders would not be able to see what I was in fact reading. These are the conclusions I reached:

Disclaimers:

• This is book version of a chick flick. No surprises, i knew what i was getting into.
• Writing style is lame: yet again, we are not here for the literary value of the piece.

Key learning #1: men think women are attracted to money, but in reality women are attracted to the confidence that comes with money.

Key learning #2: if men can rapidly alternate their approach from playing it cold to hot to cold to hot again, it generates an interesting confusion effect. As long as the man doesn’t show all his intentions upfront, the woman’s imagination will fill it with romantic crap that plays in the man’s favor.

Key learning #3: porn for women (namely, 50SOG) is way more descriptive than porn for men, but in all effects is the same. Therefore, women like porn.

Key learning #4: in the same way men have a feminine side, women have a masculine side. Anastasia calls it her inner goddess. It’s kinky and wants to have sex as often as men want.

Key learning #5: women think about sex more often than men believe.

Key learning #6: it doesn’t matter how good looking you are, how rich you are, or how charming. The reality is that a women will not want a sex-only relationship for a long time. They eventually “want more”, as the author says.

Key learning #7: When you are in love, pleasing the other person is your ultimate goal. It’s kind of counter intuitive given that people seek love.

Key learning #8: When in love, the selection bias (a tendency to just hear what you want to hear, and discard the rest) is at its peek. And even if you acknowledge this, there’s not much you can do about it.

Key learning #9: Love is not about matching, it’s unilateral and unfounded. It just happens. Struggle comes when those feelings crash into a reality that can’t hold those dreams true.

It was a fun experiment and enjoyed my clandestine subway activity. Now i am thinking of adding “Read 50 shades of gray” to my CV. As to why I think Fifty Shades of Grey became so successful? It's simple: i believe that the author is doing to the reader what Grey does to Anastasia, and there is a subconscious bonding experience with her, and empathic experience that reflects in you the book, thus protecting it from harsh criticism.