I’m 40 today. I (mostly) feel I’m 20

As long as I can remember, I’ve thought from time to time where I would be in the future. Probably too often. And everytime I made the same mistake. I thought by then (10, 20 years later) I would have certainties. Lots of them.

All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was.

Yoda. Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Years passed by, and today I’m 40. An age supposed to be some kind of turning point in one’s life. But I feel the same I felt at 20, or at 30. Yes, there are some certainties. And certainly, there are lots of experiences.

I’ve started two companies (out from one of them short ago), I’ve married my gorgeus wife (and BFF), I’ve started to raise my two beautiful children, and I’ve known my fair amount of places and fair amount of people. Not too many. A fair amount.

But that fair amount of experiences haven’t done much on my supposed (expected) certainty about life.

I don’t expect that much for people now, but I still expect lots of things from life.

I feel I have enjoyed my life, but I expect I will enjoy it a lot more in the future.

And I feel I haven’t been really succesful at my job, but I still expect to make great things I’ve only dreamed which I will be proud of.

Maybe these are lots of expectations being 40. And still, I keep telling myself I don’t feel I’m that age. Well, maybe physically. But in my mind I think there are still lots of things to come. To enjoy. To do.

I guess that’s a great personal gift I’m making to myself.

(Image Source: DeviantArt)