Stop Breaking Things

Because you can always slow down for a second to make sure you like where you’re headed.

I’m all for pushing forward. Racing around the clock. Doing as many as six impossible things before breakfast. It takes constant ongoing effort to reach our true potential, and those who complain about finite opportunities may very well just need to try harder.

But you can’t just have hustle; you also have to be able to take a step back. Because if you’re going to put the pedal to the metal, you should be damn sure you’re not going so fast that you can’t recover if you veer off course. Why break the speed limit only to get somewhere you never wanted to be?

A few days after a recent project with a disappointing outcome (to put it mildly), I decided to stop blaming others and to instead take a closer look at all of the decisions I’d made in the process. In hindsight, I saw that there were many warning sings I missed while boldly charging forward. With all of my focus on racing around the clock, I forgot that the pressure on me was largely self-imposed. The cycle was one I could have broken any time I wanted to.

It’s an easy mistake to make, but it’s not inevitable. Just remember: you don’t have to stay in the abusive relationship, at the boring party or with the exploitative employer. You can walk away from any aspect of your life that isn’t working for you.

You don’t have to do what a client asks when something about it seems wrong.

You don’t have to harass people to get them on board with a project when there are other options.

You don’t have to find a way to meet a deadline when extenuating circumstances make it unreasonable.

You don’t have to drop everything to make something work when it clearly isn’t going to.

You don’t have to cut corners on a race to the bottom, crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

You can just get off the train.

You can take a step back and ask yourself if you’re finishing something just for the sake of finishing it. You can look for the red flags suggesting that it might be better to simply cut your losses.

You can take a moment to ask ourself if you’re doing soulful work that will change your little corner of the world. You can ask ourself if other people’s expectations are worth taking shortcuts or risks for.

You can say no. Turn down the partnership or the client or the opportunity, even if you’re not sure about your alternatives. Maybe you have to pick up a part-time gig washing dishes to make ends meet, but at least it’ll let you stop your great self-destruction.

There are times to keep going. There are times to miraculously pull things off, to keep your promises, to drive full speed ahead. But there are also times when “finishing” is just something you do because we’re afraid of consequences.

You might need to use your hustle to deal with those consequences, but that means that having hustle gives you the power to say no. So say it. Deal with the consequences. And then keep pushing forward, but in the right direction this time.