Twenty-somethings are just that.

Sitting on the balcony of my rented condo (downtown, waterfront view, trendy, gentrifying, but not overdeveloped part of the city) with my also twenty-something (self-employed, single, stays up late, stays out late) roommate, the topic of responsibility arises.

What is responsibility for a twenty-something? What should responsibility be for a twenty-something?

The conclusion: not very much. At least not in real terms.

Unless you have children, significant others, mortgages, etc…, you’re probably responsible solely for your day-to-day living and what I’d like to call ‘lifestyle survival’ (keeping things as they are).

My roommate says something his Dad told him. He says that his Dad didn’t really feel like he had any responsibility until he had his first child.

That made sense.

Would I feel more responsible… more like an adult if I were responsible for another human life?

The truth is that responsibility in the twenty-something years is largely undefined.

There’s an expectation that you’re doing something with your life, but that something is opaque.

The benchmarks and expectations set for twenty-somethings are fictitious at best.

We are adults, yes. We pay taxes, have jobs (even good jobs). We have social lives (or not), live day-to-day in our decisions (or plan ahead), but do we really carry adult-like responsibility?

What about happiness?

That’s where our conversation turns . We start naming people we know who we think might be happy (I’m sure they’re out there).Maybe we have a responsibility to be happy. If we’re only accountable for ourselves, is satisfying the principle benchmark of one’s mental condition not a responsibility?

I’m twenty six. A friend a couple years younger is looking to buy her second condo (as an investment). Another is a few years older, unemployed, and can make zero claims to ever having a “real” job.

Guess which is happier. The answer is surprising.