Hinge Prompt Answers: 2025 Edition

Here’s to another year of attempting to explain myself to total strangers.

Scott Muska
I THOUGHT THIS WAS WORTH SHARING

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I really hope this doesn’t become a semi-annual tradition. But as time passes, people change. And so, too, do their dating profiles and the way they present themselves to others in hopes they’ll share a tidbit of information or show some sort of witty mettle that leads people to feel, — after a cursory glimpse at the physical goods, of course, if we’re being realistic — whether they may be a potential suitor. Gotta keep it fresh. Test some things out. Switch ’em up. See what works and, more importantly, what doesn’t.

I’m a 10 but

On a scale of 1–100.

A life goal of mine

I just want to be happy but I haven’t figured out just yet what would make me truly happy, so I guess my current goal is identifying those things. If I ever do, I will relentlessly pursue them. Or decide they’re more trouble than it’s worth and just keep doing various other things that help in some way to fill the various voids.

A daily essential

Journaling about the little intrusive thoughts that pop into my brain. Getting my steps in. A ration of Bushmills to take the edge off.

A boundary of mine

I never let anyone see what is in the journals where I write about the little intrusive thoughts that pop into my brain.

A dream home must include

A refrigerator with an ice dispenser. And backsplash. Backsplash fucking rips, man. Really brings a kitchen together while serving a practical purpose.

A friend’s review of me

“He’s great at sprinting away from meaningful and lasting commitment, which is odd and I guess ironic given that I believe he may be physically incapable of even jogging.”

A quick rant about

I once wrote 5,235 words about walking. On a treadmill. If you get me on a rant, it will not be a quick one.

A random fact I love is

You can actually die laughing. And I hope I do.

A shower thought I recently had

If she was able to move on that quickly was she lucky (and deserving) to have immediately found someone better than me, or could I have just been anyone?

Ask me anything about

My neurodivergence.

Best travel story

First time I ever danced with the Devil’s Dandruff was when a stranger gave me a key bump in a Times Square hotel elevator.

Can we talk about

How it somehow seems stranger to get in to the passenger seat of the car of someone you’re on a first date with to go to a second location than it is to pay a ride share or cab driver who is actually a complete stranger to take you all the way to the airport?

Change my mind about

The notion that putting ketchup on a hot dog is some kind of egregious, reprehensible and unforgivable sin. I’ve lived in Chicago for more than three years and people have gotten downright upset with me when I’ve expressed that this is my preference (with onions if you’re wondering), or have dared to do it in front of them. Yet, I’ve never heard a cogent or rational reason as to why this is such an abhorrent thing to do in the eyes of apparently many. Who cares? And why would you “yuck” someone else’s “yum?”

Don’t hate me if I

Occasionally need some alone time. Or put ketchup on a hot dog.

Dating me is like

Dating a McFlurry machine: Great on the rare occasions when I’m working well, but also a pretty consistent letdown, often to the people who love me most. And eventually, they stop coming back.

My best dad joke

I like to plan a date at a restaurant that doesn’t take reservations and then ask women if they’re cool “Bourdain’ing it.” Because no reservations, get it? Not everyone gets that joke as intended, and it has gone to some very dark places.

Do you agree or disagree that

Ross’s actions, while not to be condemned, as they were “on a break,” also do not mean that they should be completely looked past and deemed unworthy of impacting the potential rekindling of the relationship from which he and Rachel were on said “break?”

First round is on me if

You choose to go on a date with me. Least I can do is shout you a round, long as your drink of choice isn’t Blue Label or something.

Give me travel tips for

Cold, lonely nights visiting the abyss.

How to pronounce my name

Musk-uh.

I get myself out of a funk by

Playing Magic: The Gathering. Or going for a long walk. Or writing. Or weed.

I bet you can’t

Beat me at Magic: The Gathering.

I go crazy for

Stuffed mushrooms. Can’t get enough of ‘em.

I hype myself up by

Rippin’ a Zyn and lookin’ at myself in the mirror while I say, “Head high and fuck ’em all.”

I recently discovered that

Some people are looking to build a life with someone, and others are looking for someone to fit into the life they already want to build.

I wind down by

Finally eating a meal after neglecting to earlier in the day because I have been too busy, anxious or distracted. I call this intermittent fasting.

I wish more people knew

What I did last summer. I have some cool stories to tell but who’s gonna listen, you know?

I won’t shut up about

How Jordan clearly pushed off.

I’ll brag about you to my friends if

You agree that Jordan pushed off without having had to Google it to get the reference, but only to watch the film one more time before making a 100 percent confirmation.

I’m convinced that

Despite it being such a common point of contention and discussion (especially on dating apps, for some reason), nobody really cares all that much about the Oxford comma. But I’ll admit that I default to AP style in most cases. Hope that’s not a deal breaker.

If loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right

Romantic comedies and junior bacon cheeseburgers, simultaneously consumed.

I’m looking for

What all those goddamn romantic comedies made me believe I was deserving of, or, alternatively, an easy way to cope with the notion that this might be completely unattainable because for the vast majority of the population the potential of finding this is highly unrealistic?

Let’s debate this topic

William Shakespeare totally pioneered the concept of a writer’s room.

Let’s make sure we’re on the same page about

The belief that people who sleep in total silence are unhinged.

Like for tips about

The best places to buy sour candy in the TikTok shop, especially if you are a blue raspberry fan.

Most spontaneous thing I’ve done

Quitting a job without having another one lined up. But god blessed the broken road and all that.

My Love Language is

Movie quotes, I guess.

My best celebrity impression

David Harbour. I pull this off merely by existing, I’m told.

My biggest date fail

I once very drunkenly told a woman I “thought I might love her” during a first date. Actually, that’s just the biggest one I’m willing to cop to. Imagine what I keep to myself.

My cry-in-the-car song is

“Hole in My Soul” by Aerosmith or any version of “Pale Blue Eyes.”

My favorite line from a movie

It changes almost weekly but right now it’s “I’m not drinking any fucking merlot.”

My friends ask me for advice about

Getting back into online dating after a long hiatus or, getting into online dating for the very first time after the end of a very long relationship they thought for sure was going to be their last. I’m not exactly proud that this is my role, but we all have to play one and there’s already a sourdough starter expert in the group chat. So I help out where and how I can.

My happy place

My desk. This sounds very depressing. But that doesn’t make it untrue.

My most controversial opinion is

Fitzgerald over Hemingway. That’s right. I said what I said. If you think that shit’s spicy you don’t even want to think about my take on Peanuts vs. Calvin & Hobbes. God, I should just start a podcast already, shouldn’t i?

My most irrational fear

That any of my dreams will come true. I don’t mean this in the metaphorical sense. I mean it like I have some really horrifying dreams with premises that hold up as theoretically possible for the most part in the real world. And I would really prefer not to experience any of them in a waking state.

My self-care routine is

Drink. Cry. Shrug.

My therapist would say I

Am probably way overdue for a tune-up — that the “check engine” light has been on for quite some time now, hasn’t it?

Never have I ever

Actively participated in an orgy.

One thing I’ll never do again

Be a wallflower at an orgy. If I go to another one, I’m getting in on it.

Something that’s non-negotiable for me is

Pretty much everything is negotiable, I think. Would prefer that you are not a serial killer, though.

Something that’s special to me

The blanket (his friends call him Blankey) I got the literal day I was born.

This year, I really want to

Write a novel. But the prospect of it all seems pretty daunting. Especially since I possess a low-level addiction to instant gratification, which doesn’t mesh well with writing thousands upon thousands of words that nobody will see for quite some time, if ever. But buy the ticket, take the ride I guess.

To me, relaxation is

Difficult to fully engage in. My ex took me to a bath spa one day for my birthday and I came to the realization that I simply am not built for unoccupied relaxation.

Together, we could

Try to take over the world. Or just enjoy each other’s company and do what we can to make our little piece of the world at least a moderately happy place. We could also kiss outside an Olive Garden after gorging ourselves on all of the carbs the joint has to offer.

Typical Sunday

I wake up and shake my fist at the sky. Then I do whatever I want the rest of the day. Sometimes brunch is involved if I feel like I need some reason to vaguely justify my penchant and passion for day drinking.

Unusual skills

I can write thousands of words tangentially or at least loosely related to pretty much anything.

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