Little Talks: Conversation Starters

A series of short stories about a relationship starring a fictional couple who live rent free in Scott’s head.

She’s just gone to bed without me.

Not something to worry about. It’s the norm. Early-to-bed parties are her favorite and I’m a night owl. She wakes up before dawn and I stay in bed until the last possible minute — though I’m often awake and unwillingly contemplating my existence or dwelling on some sort of failure. Which is a real barrel of laughs. I just don’t leave bed to do anything more productive or to try to shake off the anxiety that comes with being alone with my own thoughts. Though it may be pertinent to try doing so.

Most nights i just zone out. Read until the edible kicks in and then watch something that doesn’t interest her. But tonight she’s left me with something to contemplate in her absence. She’d asked earlier if I ever worried we’d run out of things to talk about, what with the fact that we talk throughout most of the mutually waking moments of our lives, even if we’re not physically together. I said no, that we’d always have plenty to discuss, but she still seemed worried about it.

“I just don’t want the well to run dry,” she said.

“Well then, we won’t let it. Not that I think that’d ever be an issue, just to reiterate.”

“We do always seem to have more than enough to say.”

“That we do. So why, pray tell, is this worrying you?”

“Why does anything like that — something that is likely to never come to pass — worry me?”

“Sorry. Dumb question. One I know neither of us has the answer to. I guess that’s one thing we could talk about forever.”

“Ad nauseam to the max.”

“Right. Though we may never get an answer.”

“Almost definitely won’t. If someone had the real answer to that, the world would be an undeniably better place.”

“Agreed.”

After a while, I proposed creating a shared document, a phone note or whatever, that has some conversation prompts. Something we can consult at a second’s notice if we ever find ourselves in a lull — though to be honest I enjoy the occasional silences. She’s the only one I’ve ever been comfortable enough around to not always feel like the air needs to be filled.

I figure I’ll get it started while she falls into a slumber while half-watching a true crime documentary and I queue up something animated in the living room. For background noise.

I fire up a document called “CONVERSATION STARTERS R1V1” and get to typing.

Below, my progress thus far:

Do you ever find comfort in the notion that in another dimension you might be absolutely crushing life in all the ways you’ve ever imagined? Even though, as far as we know, if there are multiple dimensions, there’s no way for you to enjoy or even vaguely experience that life and all the happiness that likely comes from it? Is it kind of fun to root for the success of an entity you’ll never encounter (though it is essentially a version of you) far as we know?

Why are boobs good? Do you think dudes love them specifically because they don’t have them? Or does it go much deeper than that?

Do you think it’s detrimental or negative in any way, the amount we text? It’s great to stay in touch throughout the day, but is there something to the idea that if we spoke less we’d have more to discuss when our days finally (kind of) end and we’re together for a recap? Conversely, do you believe that staying in almost-constant contact strengthens our bond? Gives us some jumping-off points for what we’re going to talk about once we slam our laptops shut? So we, you know, don’t forget anything important or otherwise, and don’t run out of topics to discuss?

Do you ever love the idea of impossible things? Like, the kind of stuff that will absolutely never happen, but you spend some time imagining the possibility of anyway?

Do you place any weight on luck? Or are you more one for believing that you can somehow make your own? That talismans, charms, symbols, etc. don’t hold more power than that of the mind?

How do you think our lives would change if we adapted our worldview to focus specifically on us and our pursuit of happiness? What if we went all in on hedonism? Would you be fine with looking our for number one at all times, and if so, do you think by doing this we’d still find some ways to make the world a better place, even in the tiniest of ways that fall within our legitimate purview?

Does the fact that crazy-ass things like jellyfish exist in this world make you believe more or less in a higher power? And if so, do you think this higher power has a really bizarre sense of humor, or what do you think might be going on there?

How often do you worry that the best days of your life are behind you and that all you really have are memories that you’ll keep looking back to?

What would you do if you suddenly found yourself with a lump sum of a billion dollars, untaxed?

How would you spend your final day on this earth, if you knew for sure that the world was going to end? And would you be relieved in any way if you did find out the world was going to end at a very specific point that we could prepare for? Or would you prefer the element of complete surprise regarding our ultimate demise?

Would you rather be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?

When is the first time you remember hurting someone’s feelings?

When is the first time you remember making someone feel genuinely better?

How seriously do you take expiration dates?

What superpower would you choose? And what would you use it for?

Do you think it’s going to rain?

What if we lived in a world where fortune cookies were very accurate portrayals of what was going to happen to you?

Why do you do what you do?

Can you try to put into words how depression and anxiety make you feel?

Why do you think I’m so opposed to growing up?

How capable do you believe you are of accomplishing extraordinary things?

If you could see the future, would you?

How would you spend your time if suddenly you found out you had to be stone-cold sober at all times?

What do you want to talk about?