Things I Have Gotten Really Into Over the Past Year
I really like to lean in.
I get pretty enthusiastic and probably obsessive about things that I really enjoy. And when I broke up with my girlfriend a year ago today, I found myself with even more idle alone time on my hands than I was used to, which was already as significant amount. (Many have told me my lifestyle was basically built for a pandemic situation. I mostly agree with this except for the part where I have no real survival skills if it gets to the point where fleeing from your apartment and into complete near-apocalyptic chaos is the most viable option.)
There is of course a difference between being alone and being lonely, and when the scale tips toward true loneliness, one of the best ways to cope with and combat it is to occupy yourself. Keep busy or bad things happen, like being along with your own thoughts. So I leaned into some things. Many things. It’s interesting that I can half-ass a stellar relationship but fully commit to building a stamp collection. Seems like something worth unpacking. Perhaps I should spend some more time with my own thoughts.
Anyway. Here’s what has helped me distract myself from an existential struggle and sustain some modicum of sanity over the past 365 days.
Hacking TikTok
Not, like, really. I can’t even do math. I’m referring to getting the most out of the app, personally and relatively speaking. My FYP is a thing of absolute beauty. Perfectly curated. At the moment, it’s mostly live videos from various Brand New Reunion shows, Jason Williams podcast clips mixed with dope highlights, people reviewing various sour candies, a dude who acts like and seems to genuinely wish he was actually living in the early 1900s (*looks around* he might be onto something), my good buddy Topher’s Creed-related posts and occasionally a British guy who shares his experiences trying all types of tinned fish.
It’s absolutely magical. I can pass hours cruising that app and be marginally happy or something vaguely similar. It’s taken a lot of hard work and dedication to get my FYP to such a level.
It’s great for retail therapy, too. You wanna real shot of serotonin? Buy a bulk order of freeze-dried candy that comes in a special UFO cardboard box. Forget you ordered it and feel true elation when it shows up at your apartment several weeks or maybe even months later.
Walking
Hippocrates allegedly said it’s the best medicine, but take that with a grain of salt because he didn’t really have many options back then, when “walk it off” wasn’t a jeer or encouragement but a way to determine whether you would be able to survive much longer. If he were alive today he might tip the scale in favor of penicillin. But for me it’s a good way to keep the Uncle Bod in check, people watch, have some deep thoughts, prevent or alleviate anxiety and depression, pet or at least make intense eye contact with many dogs and get some reps in on the Carhartt fanny pack I bought to store the things I usually keep in my jeans while I saunter around in short shorts.
I even rigged up a standing treadmill desk so I can break a physical and mental sweat simultaneously when it’s cold and rainy outside. Got an Oura ring to track my steps, too, but stopped wearing that because of its continuous reminders of how poorly I sleep.
Soft drinks
I have a tendency to booze in an attempt to alleviate boredom, which is not great to say the least and can send you off the rails pretty quickly if you’re not careful with your consumption. I’m a sipper, a real beverage goblin who habitually grabs for whatever liquids are situated on my desk, so in the evenings I started subbing in non-alcoholic beverages instead of Bushmills. I took to it pretty quickly. Started with soda (pop where I’m from). By now I’ve experimented with pretty much every zero sugar offering on the market (no calories, no mercy). Then Kool-Aid spiked with stevia entered the chat. I’m good for a half gallon a day if I get after it. Bought a bulk order of the stuff that included two packets of every single flavor available from all over the world. Nothing beats the blue raspberry lemonade, though. Grape’s a close second.
Coffee plays a role too. Gotta get my high from somewhere. Bought a Nespresso machine with a foamer just the other day and I’m getting heavy into making lattes.
Watching YouTube concert videos
Hot take, but it often beats going to an actual concert for me. Plus it’s free. Great way to pass a night of solitude, watching sad sack performances of your favorite songs. Belting a few of them out. And of course, shredding on the air guitar.
Blogging
This is certainly not a new development, as I’ve been blogging in some form or another since I was in 10th grade. It’s how I got my first taste of garnering attention through my writing, a dragon I’ll never stop chasing because I am a narcissist. Used to have a blog called “The Calm During the Storm,” which is laughable because I am one of the most anxiety-addled people I know. These days I’m screaming into the void via this here blog, named after my first book. It’s for brand consistency, ostensibly, but also partially because I didn’t have anything creative to call it when I launched it.
This is what I do when I’m not working my day job or toiling over one thing or another I hope will take form as my next book. It’s not widely read, I check the stats, but I learned pretty early on that putting your stuff out there even if no one is paying for it or paying much attention to it can eventually take you somewhere you never imagined it would. So I keep trying. It brings me fulfillment and happiness, and there are certainly worse ways to burn some hours.
Magic: The Gathering
I fell in love with this strategic card game when I was in grade school and have played on and off since. These days I can put a full eight-hour shift in playing online without even realizing it. Not to brag or anything, but I’m not bad. I’ve gotten to the highest tier of competitive ranked online play there is. The ladies, they swoon over this.
Cooking
This was never my thing until it became high time to make some serious changes to my dietary and spending habits. During a budgeting session I checked how much I was dropping on Uber Eats and it was appalling. I wasn’t angry, just disappointed. Especially because I have a great grocery store a three-minute walk from my apartment. Now I go there almost every day to pick up whatever I fancy or to get the fixings for whatever recipe I’ve found, most of which come from my dad.
It’d be a lie to claim I’m more than an incompetent novice, but the more I do it the more I enjoy it and the better the dishes seem to come out. Interesting how that works. It’s made me a lot more mindful about what I eat and when, and it’s a nice meditative way to enter compartmentalization mode between the end of the work day and the start of the evening.
Two of my random favorites: stuffed mushrooms and wrapping bacon around anything and everything.
Flash fiction
My attention span is absolutely dismal, to the point I have a hard time fully concentrating on movies and TV shows that are longer than 30 minutes. Applies to my reading too. Used to be I’d crush novels with a quickness, and sometimes I still do, but have found quite an appreciation for reading and writing stories that are short enough to be consumed in a short sitting. As you can see if you’ve made it this far, I’m not always great with brevity, but it’s something I’m working on, and since I’m writing more of it it makes sense to read it as well. I am working on improving my sustained focus, getting back to not bouncing between desktop to desktop and app to app and really locking in. Results have so far been mixed.
Journaling
My private life is an absolute joke and while I’ve always kept a journal, now I’m really prolific with my entries. If anyone were to ever read it they’d discover that I am in fact a true maniac and that the things that occupy my thoughts are often baffling, even harrowing. Only reason I do this on a daily basis (multiple times most days) is to get my stuff out somewhere I won’t be judged. It’s not like I’m doing it for the record or posterity, and it’s unlikely I’ll ever go back and read much of it myself, but it’s not like it’s going to make me a worse writer, and catharsis is key.
Meaningful jewelry
As I type this I’m wearing a necklace with two charms on it. One says “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” The other says “TK / WIP / ###.” I have a bright blue bracelet meant to remind me to be confident (though there is no real connection between its look and the sentiment I made up), along with a rubber band. I’ve been wearing a rubber band on my right wrist for luck since I was 12. This makes no sense really but I’m pretty superstitious. With all these accessories you could give me a scarf and make me a piece of shit and boom, I’m a poor man’s Johnny Depp.
