The Day I Was Sold A B***hole

Gustavo Braga
Aug 8, 2017 · 4 min read

He said he lived down the street…

Sales happen all the time. From letting someone pass after an ‘excuse me’ to closing a millionaire real estate deal.

In addition to products and services in exchange for money, it is an idea in exchange for an action.

One of these days, a gentleman offered me a peculiar product.

Let me tell you the story, and then I’ll tell you if I bought it and the persuasion techniques he used.

Warning: If you are sensitive to foul language, do not continue reading. There will be no more asterisks.

The sale

My hair was great.

Coming out of the barbershop, I went to buy some wax and hair ointment, which the barber had recommended. The shop was near the bus terminal, where I’d later take the bus to come home.

She almost ran us over.

Crossing the avenue on a pedestrian crossing, a woman nearly scraped us with her car.

Yep. I wasn’t alone anymore. When I arrived at the beginning of the crossing, there he was: a short white man, under a grey bowl-styled hair, in a pink tank top, cargo shorts and glasses.

“This woman must be very poorly fucked” — he said.

I’m a shy guy, so I just agreed, not to ignore…

Then he started another conversation:

— Have you ever fucked a cunt?

— Yah…

— Cunts are cool at first, but then they get all loose and it’s no more fun…

— Indeed…

— But a butthole? that’s different. It’s tight the whole time. Way hotter.

— Man, I can’t even tell you what I think, cause I’ve never tasted it…

— Do you wanna? — I live right down the street.

— Hahaha No, buddy. Thanks.

— I’ll even give you a blowjob before…

(he insisted a little more…)

— I live right there, two streets from here.

— No, buddy. Maybe next time.

— Where do you live? — he asked.

— Cohatrac

— There’s lots of good ass eaters in Cohatrac…

— Really?

Then I started crossing another avenue and saying goodbye and said:

— Ok, man. See ya.

— All right. In case you need anything, I live right over there.

And that was it.

HahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahaHahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahaHahahahahahhaahhahahahaha.

Laughter paragraph, because it’s an awesome story.

Now let me tell you the techniques he used on me and why I didn’t buy it.

The technique

Connection

Have you ever fucked a cunt?

The first thing he did was to identify a truth of mine, creating connection.

Cunts are cool at first, but then they get all loose and it’s no more fun…

Then he destroyed that truth, making me agree, even if by timidity, that what I knew was not that good. Right now I was, in theory, a blank sheet of paper. All I knew about sexual pleasure no longer existed.

But a butthole? that’s different. It’s tight the whole time. Way hotter.

So he introduced a new truth, better than the one I already knew.

Call-to-action + simplicity

Do you wanna? — I live right down the street

As soon as I said I’d never tried it, he saw the “need” and called to action. And, he used the simplicity trigger to show that I didn’t need to make a lot of effort to “make the purchase.”

Bonus

I’ll even give you a blowjob before…

Realizing that I still had objections to taking the action, he offered a bonus to increase the perceived value of the product (or service?).

Social proof and belonging

There’s lots of good ass eaters in Cohatrac…

Seeing that I still had objections, he told me that a lot of people had already taken this action, which is the social proof, and that the people in my neighborhood were especially good at it, making me feel a sense of belonging to that group.

Why didn’t I buy it?

Objections.

Those are the reasons why we don’t take action.

The objection of “I’ve never fucked an ass and it’s not with an old man I’m going to do it” was too strong for him to kill.

So I didn’t take the action.

So that’s it. We are persuaded to do several things everyday, from common things to “exotic” ones like this, haha.

What’s the most peculiar product you’ve ever been offered?

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I Write Your Stuff

Gustavo Braga

Written by

Copywriter, Translator, Entrepreneur, Curious

I Write Your Stuff

Where I tell you how to make money with words. Get in touch on: www.linkedin.com/in/gustavobragapro/

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