My “Be A Better Mom” Book Addiction

My name is Sinead and I’m addicted to Mom Books. I’ve been working on this affliction for some time now and it has moved quite fluidly to online fascinations and social media curiosity…but its my small but tainted collection of actual books that tickles at the back of my brain every time I come up against a Major Mom Issue. Usually What The Hell Do I Do Now? moments or, more recently Surely I’m Not The Only One Who Faces This Kind Of Crisis?

My pusher was a GP in the city. The pink line was hardly a faint existence when she tilted her head, looked at me, smiled and handed me a book on Pregnancy and Baby. A free information book compiled by those in the Baby Industry adept at nailing you early with their brand awareness and subtle marketing, fluffy soft looking babies and uber-grinning moms. This book gloriously detailed the baby happenings and milestones growing within me. There were 40 weeks describing what was going on and it fed into my information addiction and curiosity of my inner workings. Sentences that said stuff like: Your Baby Has Toenails & Hair Now or You Should Be Feeling Your Baby’s First kick Now…sent me into orgasmic moments of Mom-to-be Hysteria. It was a comfort I kept beside my bed at night and at breakfast I would regale my other half with stories of what I had learned.

He had no interest. Baby wasn’t here yet. What was I wittering on about?

I felt compelled to leave out the body leakages, the sharps pains like a fork being poked into my cervix or horror of all horrors: Labour and Birth.

This Mom Book obsession started with that first moment of Pregnancy (happy and glorious), moved to Baby (reality) and the Toddlers (insanity) and further on they go..How To Cope With a Mom Body (you know the one I’m not supposed to have 6 weeks post birth according to certain newspaper articles and celebrities) and How To Get Back Into Your Pre pregnancy Jeans In Nano Seconds.

These were beginning to sound like they weren’t real.

These were beginning to make me feel bad.

Baby arrived. He never slept. Ok, he slept. His naps were 40 minutes exactly. His night sleep was basically a series of naps and he would wake frequently and often. Other moms with other Mom Books suggested I try Their Mom Books and the cycle of addiction and answer searching continued. I was exhausted. My husband was exhausted. Can nobody get this boy to sleep??

At 2 years after having baby, he wasn’t sleeping through the night as promised by all my Mom Books. He woke at 1am, 3am, 4am and for the day at 5am. This went on for months and the real fog of motherhood took over. These books sat on my shelf and mocked me. I took several trips to Libraries and Bookstores and bought more and more of them. Crying It Out, No Cry Sleep suggestions, Co-Sleeping…it all looked like a mass of total and utter confusion. I went from one suggestion to another and then tried another and I learned the most valuable thing I have ever learned. Following years of research and a feeling I could get a Ph.D in Sleep Techniques for Babies, I came to my conclusion which I am going to share now with you. Be quiet now, this is serious, its the answer you tired Moms are all looking for:

IT WAS ALL RUBBISH!!

ADVICE: THROW ALL THOSE BOOKS ON THE FIRE AND KEEP WARM FOR AN EVENING!

My son is 9 now and he still won’t sleep until late at night and he still gets up at stupid o’clock and absolutely NO BOOK was ever going to say to me: Sinead luv, maybe he’s just not a sleeper. And thats OK!

My suggestions for new moms: Do not read a single book that makes you go crazy, do not speak with the smug mothers who tell you you are doing it wrong. Cause you’re not. You love that child. S/he is fed and loved and cuddled and not one book made that a central point. There was plenty of what I was doing wrong or what to do right but one big lesson I learnt was to know yourself. Know your child and know that it gets easier as they get older and that there is no one solution for any baby.

In the meantime, do not let a book think you are doing it wrong my friend. Because we Moms. Well, we ROCK! x