Got Spoons? How to Speak the Language of Empathy
In the mystical world of the forest, the fairies breathe in the flora and fauna, embodying their every thought and emotion. Their demeanor gracefully morphs, followed by the gentle caress of tranquility, the whisper of the breeze. In a parallel universe, methodical robots march row by row, briskly going about their days. While the emotional cascade of the fairy kingdom crashes over like a storm, the unremarkable monotony of the robotic realm scrapes like a blunt knife. Both worlds are intriguing at first, beautiful even. Yet, in excess, they are detrimental, unhealthy.
Crashing back to earth, we can open our eyes to reality, where the birds sing melodically to the machine-like hum of cars zooming by. This world has its extremes: hyper-emotional chaos of the fairy kingdom paralleled by the strict order of the robot world. This balancing act mirrors that of others in our world: the struggle between empathy and indifference, the war between sickness and health. The bridge between these dichotomies is none other than a bouquet of spoons.
“The Spoon Theory” is a concept coined by Christine Miserandino, a patient of two autoimmune diseases. She proposes a solution to combat the disparity between the sick and the healthy in order to foster understanding in those inexperienced with chronic illness. She describes a world in which time and energy are measured in spoons. While the rest of humanity goes about their days with virtual freedom, those in the “secret society of the sick” are bound by the practicalities of their illnesses.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine your morning routine. You peel your eyes open, stumble out of bed, shower, get dressed, make breakfast, and scarf it down, dashing out the door. Just your typical morning, right? Now imagine I told you that you’re allotted twenty spoons per day, and for each of those simple tasks, you lost one spoon. Before your day has begun, you only have fourteen spoons left to expend. Welcome to the secret society of the sick. The healthy go about their lives while unbeknownst to them, the sick co-exist, blending into the facade of normalcy, their days limited by their disease’s daily allotment of spoons.
The purpose of sharing the Spoon Theory is to bridge the gap between the sick and healthy, to find the balance between ignorance and experience. The heart of the matter is that no one truly knows what another person is going through, highlighting the importance of being intentional and accommodating everyone. A positive and empathetic worldview is the resulting lens through which we may view the world.
I dream of the day when the emotional intelligence of the fairy world combines with the systematic approach of the robotic realm, finally achieving symbiosis. I dream of bridging the understanding gap between the healthy and the sick, everyone speaking the language of empathy, the words “Really? But you don’t look sick” never to be uttered again.
* Please note that I take no credit for the concept of the Spoon Theory. For more information, please visit www.butyoudontlooksick.com.
