All The Bad News About Portugal

And why you should move here

They offer tons of free umbrellas to new arrivals. Photo by Ricardo Resende on Unsplash

Sure there’s the excellent-quality free health care, great weather, friendly helpful citizens (mostly), reasonable cost of living, art, architecture, music, history, stunning landscapes, wine, and all sorts of other enticements.

But I want to focus on the negatives.

I’m an American expat who’s been living in Portugal for the last year or so. I’m here to tell you why the place sucks, and what to do to deal with all the downsides.

🎆 There are smokers and cigarette butts every-fucking-where

That’s great news if you’re short on cash and still want to smoke. You can do it for free. Just stumble into any confined space in the country, or any open space for that matter, and inhale. You’re sure to catch a whiff.

If, in spite of your constant desire to inhale second- and third-hand smoke, you need a respite, try a neonatal intensive care unit or any indoor restaurant, just don’t park your smoke-free and presently-healthy ass too near the door because smoke will blow in from the crowd of thoughtful future-cancer-patients clustered thoughtfully just outside the door.