In the world of online dating, there’s much talk about which photos you choose to upload. Is that swimsuit shot too much? (Maybe.) Does posing in front of a Lambo make me seem like a shallow jerk? (Probably.) Will pics of puppies get me a swipe? (For sure!) But what truly captures someone’s attention is the art of writing a profile.
Some singles agonize over it, asking friends for input or hiring someone to fashion perfect punchy lines. Others ignore it entirely, leaving sections blank or filling it with emojis, the cryptic cartoon hieroglyphs of the modern age.
It’s easy to become fixated on this strange stepchild of old school personal ads. Here are five things you should NEVER say in your profile — you know, universal turn-offs. Let’s see if we can swipe in a world where no one has to see these sentences ever again.
1. DON’T MESSAGE ME IF…
If you say this for any reason, even if what you specify is objectively bad or doesn’t apply to who’s looking, that person won’t message you, no matter how intriguing everything else on your profile is. It’s negative, dismissive, and bitter. Is this really the first impression you want to make?
Instead:
Say why people SHOULD message you. Don’t berate potential matches with what you don’t want — tell them what you DO want! Your profile should be an invitation to entry, not a bouncer. Outlining what you love instead of what you hate will not only make you more attractive to potential partners, you’re far more likely to inspire the perfect person to shoot you a message.
2. Listing your job as “Founder,” “Co-Founder,” or “CEO.”
Look, if these phrases do describe you, I’m sorry, but every third person on a dating app uses these titles and it’s statistically impossible for this to be true. These buzzwords have become the new vague way to project that you’re a big deal. And if this is truly your role, wouldn’t you want to keep that on the down low? This isn’t Linkedin.
Instead:
Say what field you’re in! Talk about your work and why you love it. This will makes you seem like a real person, doing real things that are important to you rather than someone trying to flex for swipes.
3. Including your height paired with a snarky comment about how “It seems to be important on here,” or “Don’t worry, you can wear your heels.”
This is another line that may seem funny or playful to you, but many believe the attitude on this topic is a total dealbreaker, even when your height isn’t. This specific phrasing can read as insecure, angry, and immature. Leave that to the bagel boss.
Instead:
Leave your height off if you think it’s irrelevant or the trend of including it in profiles annoys you. It’s negative, and a dating profile isn’t the place to vent.
4. Mentioning sex, your prowess, or how well you treat your partners.
This isn’t the time or the place, end of story. Turning conversation to the lewd and crude is best done once you’ve established a connection and some chemistry. Otherwise, you risk seeming like just another disembodied pervy voice on the internet telling everyone how good at sex you are. And let’s be honest — you probably shouldn’t be the judge of that.
Instead:
Show — don’t tell. Talk about your passion for other parts of your life that deal with physicality, like yoga, dancing, or hiking, and how you value good connection. All these aspects inform others how they relate to their body, their passions, and other people in their lives. Leave it up to the reader to connect the dots.
5. Using too many cliches like, “I love to laugh,” “Netflix and chill,” “I enjoy spending time with my friends,” et. al.
The above are things nearly everyone likes. They say little to nothing about who you are and what makes you unique. These neutral statements may not deter anyone from reaching out, but they definitely won’t engage anyone, either.
Instead:
Get specific! What do you love about traveling? Exploring a city at night after most have gone to bed? Trying new delicacies? Seeing different cultures? What do you and your friends do for fun that sets you apart? Tell the world exactly who you are, and you’re way more likely to find someone who’s game to eat crickets with you in Mexico or roam around Rome at 2 a.m.
Think of your profile as your bat signal. The symbols you sling directly into the sky influence what you’ll get back. The more thoughtful you can be about giving someone a clear view of who you are and what you’re looking for, the more likely you are to find it. Write an introduction that will make someone wading through endless snarky, unoriginal, and careless bios smile. You never know where it might lead.
What’s the worst profile line you’ve seen lately? Share in the comments below!
