Do You Dare To Have A Good Look In The Mirror?
Unfortunately, we regularly hear or read reports of workplace mobbing. Mobbing is the psychological pressure exerted on employees by supervisors and employers, either through words or actions.
How is it different from bullying? I would say mainly in the context of what happens and the indirect exercise of power that sustains it. In recent years we have noticed that this form of abuse has taken on storm proportions in our social environment and on social media.
In my humble opinion, social mobbing and abusive speech are intimidation tactics to enforce a person’s beliefs in order to gain recognition and/or demonstrate the extent of power they have within a group or society. It is little different from common bullying but more subtle in its application practices as it concerns the belittling of the recipient.
The Elephant In Every Room
It is a fact that verbal violence has many different shades but is difficult to prove all of them. By malicious talk or verbal abuse (also known as verbal bullying), we define direct or indirect negative statements aimed at intimidating or threatening or insulting or reducing the value of a person and/or a group of people.
Within 24 hours we can become recipients or even bearers of abusive speech under the guise of stress and pressure in our lives. As much as we want to exonerate this “outbreak” tactic, it is in no way justified. Here it is necessary to emphasize that the consequences of abusive speech naturally do not disappear with the well-known phrases: “Come on, baby, I didn’t mean it” or “Come on, don’t be so sensitive” or “That’s me, I just call a spade a spade” and so on.
Just because almost everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s right or normal to act like a bum just because we can or because we need to vent somewhere.
The Many Faces Of Abusive Speech And Behavior
The consequences of abusive talk damage a person’s psychology and often lay the groundwork for serious mental health issues. At the same time, they form a communication model that we often see on social media.
The wave of verbal intimidation and abusive speech against whatever or whoever we don’t like is the easy solution to those who accumulate this toxic dynamic in communication.
Some of the known abusive tactics are:
- Being rude or unfriendly for no reason.
- Derogatory comments and mockery towards others.
- Raise the volume of voice and shout to cover the voices of the people around.
- When speech is full of swear words and innuendos usually around sex.
- To think that the only appropriate way of communication is profanity.
- To humiliate people who do not want to follow a certain attitude.
- To belittle and exclude people belonging to sensitive social groups simply because they enjoy it.
- Block access to business development opportunities when someone disagrees with them.
- To leave insinuations in the air that offend those people who are considered a threat.
- Gossip and slander those who they don’t like.
- To think that they are always right because they play the role of the senior.
- Blaming those who disagree with them and protecting those they consider “their tribe”.
- Criticize without argument but accept no criticism.
- To place obstacles and stumbling blocks for those who are more efficient & productive.
- Not to provide adequate resources to facilitate the work of those they dislike.
- Cultivate a climate of physical or social isolation for those people who have different beliefs.
- Masterfully making life and communication hard in every way in order to comment on people’s performance. The so-called capsules.
- To convey information selectively so that there is confusion and material for conflict.
- Not to keep their commitments and agreements.
- To “forget” what exposes them and to falsify facts for their benefit.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that it is perfectly normal for people to have disagreements and conflicts. But under no circumstances is it acceptable to consider that there is an excuse to verbally and psychologically abuse those who are in our surroundings. Especially when we are in a position that gives us room to exercise power and impose our point of view.
We Do Have A Choice
Don’t forget that for every abusive word we utter and for every abusive behavior we allow to happen, we have two options:
- Option A: We can stop at that moment and reflect on what exactly we are doing. Surely there must be some other gentler way to communicate. Let’s take a deep breath before we blurt out the first thing that pops into our heads.
- Option B: We choose to surrender to the vicious circle of abusive behavior and abusive speech as clueless and unintelligent creatures.
In other words, the power of free will is in our hands: we choose how we react.
So next time we publicly share our disapproval of what is happening on social media and in our social environment, let’s take the trouble to enter into deep introspection, starting with the basic question: What is the example that I set today with my own behavior?
Simply put, we lead the life we choose as units and as communities. In all areas and aspects of reality. After all, the quality of life is shaped by everything we do when no one is watching. The same applies to the example we set with our behavior and reactions. Morality and character develop one stone at a time.
