Picking up where I left
Returning to work after starting a family
Nothing really prepares you for the big shift that happens when you add kids into your perfectly balanced work-life equation. The big impact this little person has is certainly life-changing for many different reasons. Of course some have that ‘village’ around them and some don’t, but either way it’s hard to prepare yourself no matter how many stories you hear.
Before having kids I was a graphic designer making my way into the competitive world of digital design in London. I’d worked in some very interesting places on some very interesting projects, including the BBC Olympics. Everything was going as I planned, my work-life balance was
good and I could see a bright future ahead of me.
But when my partner and I decided to have kids I didn’t anticipate the impact something so beautifully life-changing was going to have on my career in the way that it did.
“It was like being in a boat and watching it drift from the shore,
the sight of land gradually getting more and more distant”.
I had my first child seven years ago. At the time I was freelancing so the challenge of returning to work after maternity leave was a tricky one. Life
as a freelancer means maintaining network of people and leads for the next project, something that requires time and planning. But with a new chaotic and unpredictable life with a baby, all that was very difficult to manage, so things didn’t turn out well. Although I did some freelance work during the first two years, my confidence started to fade away as my contact with the industry and people became less and less. It was like being in a boat and watching it drift from the shore, the sight of land gradually getting more
and more distant.
My second child came three years after with another wave of beautifully
life-changing force. Though this force was enough to take me down to a darker place: I was soon diagnosed with severe postnatal depression (PND),
a place where the thought of working again was simply non-existent. Every day was bleak and hopeless, I couldn’t recognise the person I became, I stop enjoying the things I loved, and found myself immersed in this circle of negative thoughts.
It took time (around 3 months) but with the support of my partner, my GP and 1–2–1 counselling I slowly found my way back to a normal life again and gain enough confidence to start considering to work again. At the beginning,
I started applying to very junior and intern positions, those more willing to be flexible, but deep inside I was struggling to accept the fact I was about to start from scratch in my career (having 8 years of experience), a position that lots of new mums found themselves after having children, that only makes them feel worse and not valuable.
The real turning point for me was when I was contacted by two ex-colleagues about a position at Idean UK. A role that turned my life around in the most positive way. I was not only given the opportunity to return to a proper
(very cool!) workplace after six years of unemployment, but also the ability
to work part-time (currently three days a week) and work around my family’s schedule. Life with small children can be quite demanding, hectic and unpredictable, but having the support from my employer to focus on work
and output instead of time and hours is reassuring and helps keep anxiety
and depression at bay.
I’m grateful I was given the opportunity to have a choice. Not between work or a full-time mum, but a middle ground. One where I could do both.
Although that perfect work-life balance will never exist, I’m grateful I was given the opportunity to have a choice. Not between work or a full-time mum, but a middle ground. One where I could do both. It was this opportunity that helped me find peace with myself and my mental health has since improved in giant leaps.
All that said, coming back to work after such a long time was nerve-racking experience and building my confidence has being a slow journey. I had to fight back all-absorbing thoughts of Imposter Syndrome but I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by incredibly talented people that helped me believe in my work and skills with their support and understanding.
Of course it all comes with a price. I’m aware that my career progression won’t be as fast as other full-timers. I know I will still miss a lot of what’s happening in the studio when I’m home and that after hours drinks might be tough. I’ve accepted I won’t be able to travel much, but it’s a good kind of “sacrifice”.
Idean UK launched their Mental Health Policy last month which is an effort to remove the stigma around mental health, especially in the workplace. It felt like the right moment to share my personal story and help new mums or anyone that could be experiencing the same in their lives.
“Idean UK has learnt how to be a better company through the experiences it has shared with the team. People have explored flexible working with us, bravely shared mental health challenges, battled countless personal conflicts, and we listened. We listened to what people really needed and we offered support and made changes where we could. It’s nerve-racking. Few feel fully equipped to tackle such issues and as a company we were no different. But our approach and culture is stronger because of it and now we have fully formed policies, training programmes and various options available to the team. And hearing people share their experiences internally and externally, inspiring others to share or ask for support…just wow.”
Kayleigh Smart, Idean UK’s People Director
What I learnt from this, is that when you are in a bad place, when depression or anxiety has become part of your life it’s easy to forget that there’s hope,
that help exists. So asking for it it’s essential and life changing. Either on a personal level or at your workplace, taking that step could be what it takes
to recover.
