How Cardi A Became Cardi B
A story of bagels, cloning, and an appreciation of a good ass
Our story begins in the heart of the Bronx, New York City, inside a bagel shop, where Cardi A, the up and coming American rapper has just taken her first bite of what will become her favorite snack in the world — the pizza bagel. The bite was so good that Cardi A felt the surge of something new, something better, she had read an email to change her life forever.
“Awww shit,” the rapper said covering her mouth with the jewel topped, sharp-tipped fake nails glistening blue in the harsh fluorescent glow. “This world ain’t ready for what I’m bout to do, oooo” Cardi A again shared aloud as if the shop’s bagel baristas had any idea about her idea.
Cardi A had stumbled onto Dr. Z’s email addressed and sent through her PR secretary with the subject line reading: The Celebrity Solution. Upon reading the email Cardi realized that Dr. Z had the answer to her troubles of unwanted, constant surveillance from the American mass media. Life as a full-time rapper was hard to maintain and sometimes she wished she could just break for some sweatpants and soft serve, maybe take her eyelashes off for a bit.
Dr. Z’s email was privately addressed to celebrities struggling with this full on 24/7 attention and sent through the company Cloning & Co. The email listed past clients as…
