Why you should get off your phone, and how to do it.
“Oh, I’ve totally gone off Facebook and Instagram,” my friend Mike* (not his real name) told us at the dinner table. “I’ve kept LinkedIn, but I barely check it.” He munched on his fries. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and it just makes me more productive.”
There were audible gasps. “Wow,” I marveled. I am personally trying to shed my own personal online social networks — no small feat, so I’m trying to do this gradually. However, another friend, Sally* (again, not her real name), remarked: “But,” she paused for dramatic effect, “Don’t you get FOMO?”
Mike simply chuckled.
Mike is, indeed, a fluke and a unicorn in this hyper-connected world. In the report, Digital in 2017, global users can spend anywhere from a respectable 40 minutes (Japan) to a whopping 4 hours and 17 minutes (Philippines) a day on average on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. That means that the most connected people in this world spend their days breathing, eating and checking their social networks.
Yes, FoMO or the Fear of Missing Out, is certainly a real thing. It’s defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “the anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.” In fact, there have been articles in scientific journals devoted to studying FOMO and its relation to Internet Communication Disorder. Yes, that’s a thing too. It’s defined as the “overuse of online communication,” resulting in “feelings of loneliness; impaired social activities, psychological health, well-being or interpersonal relationships; problems with emotions; and poor coping strategies.”
The big social media companies don’t really help. In his Ted Talk, Design Thinker (yes, there is such a thing, and I think that’s pretty cool) Tristan Harris notes that the goal for all apps and sites is to get our attention; he notes: “it’s a race to the bottom of the brainstem,” where, of course, our reward centers are located.
So how can REALLY step away from the smartphone? Here are some tips:
• Do something. Anything. Just put the phone down. Seriously — take a walk outside; go to the gym; read a book; take up a hobby; anything else — just put the phone down.
• Speaking of hobbies — try to take up a hobby that actually requires you to put the phone down. Some examples: scuba diving; team sports; individual sports; knitting; journaling; or crafting.
• Try and be mindful of how much time you actually devote to social networks. Be honest with yourself and log how many minutes you spend on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or other social networks. Yes, that includes online messaging apps. Try it for a day, even a few days. Now be shocked. Are there better ways of spending your time? The answer is most likely yes.
• Delete social media apps on your phone, if you can. You don’t have to delete your accounts; you don’t even have to delete Facebook messenger, if your friends message you there. Just delete Facebook, Twitter or Instagram if you find yourself checking these apps A LOT. You’ll be surprised at how much time (and storage) you’ll free up. I have personally deleted the Facebook app from my phone months ago and I’ve never looked back.
• Make it a rule in your household or your friend group to put down the phone when you’re all together.
• Are you truly addicted to your screen? Perhaps minimize your FOMO by deviating your attention to absorbing information that can help enhance your knowledge. Try Medium, Ted, NPR or Coursera.
• When at home, try putting your smartphone in another room while you do other things like read, cook, or hang out with your family.
• If you can, put your phone on perpetual silent mode, and turn off all notifications for social networks. If a message IS important, you can always reply when you can.
• If you’re frustrated with group chats, put them on mute or silent mode. That way, you can always check them when you can and not whenever a notification comes up.
• My own personal tip (and I must say, it DOES work): I modified the notifications on my iPhone. I basically turned off all notifications for all apps, except for the messaging apps. And even then, I only turned on the icon notifications (aka the little red number on the app icon that tells you how many messages you have waiting for you). This helps especially if you’re trying to focus on work.
• Start practicing good bedtime technology habits: NEVER bring your phone to your bed. Let go of your phone at least 30 minutes before bedtime to help you sleep better. If possible, don’t put your phone by your nightstand. Instead, put it across the room to prevent you from checking your phone in the middle of the night, or the first thing in the morning.
Do you have any other personal tips on how to get off the phone, really, for real? Let me know in the comments!
This story was originally published in Ideiya, a portal where the conversation centers around mental health, wellness, recovery and mindfulness.
