Healing: Is It Trendy Or Nah
Here’s Why There Will Be Blood
For me, the answer is, nah.
Either ‘healing’ has become the popular buzzword for this season to wrap around ourselves to seem deep and on a forward path or we’re legitimately in an era where we’ve come to the end of our ropes and we’re doing away with inner and outer toxicity and anything that prevents us from being emotionally and mentally healthy.
For me, healing was never about being trendy or putting my inner recovery on display in exchange for likes and reactions on social media. For me, it was about digging up and uncovering the painful past and putting an end to all of the harmful generational cycles that could be passed on that could affect my daughter and any other relationships I had or intended to build. Here’s the part where I keep it real, unlike your favorite social media influencer, healing, true healing is not cute. It’s ugly, in fact, it’s even more painful, that it’s a bloody and gory process.
There will be blood.
For years, I carried around the pain and the idea that I was an unloved and unwanted daughter. I carried feelings of rejection around along with feelings of abandonment. I had to dig for the truth and I did it with the intention of becoming a better loving and effective mother to my own daughter. Healing wasn’t something that was optional, I couldn’t opt-out of it because I wanted to. Once I gained the wisdom and the knowledge that the betterment of my soul and emotions would benefit not only myself and my daughter but it can affect generations after that, I wised up to the truth that becoming whole wasn’t just about me. That pressure rides your shoulders and your decisions.
Perspective has led me to believe that life has never been just about us individually but more so collectively. We have a collective purpose to affect each other for the better over a span of generations. Wisdom and the truth will sober you and wise you up to a greater perspective of things, that your brokenness doesn’t just hurt you, that it doesn’t just affect you. Your brokenness can affect your children generations after you, it can affect your neighbors and others whom you’re supposed to influence.
I came to the end of myself and I believe that many of us do, but the caveat is when you come to the end of yourself, do you find a way out or do you go back to the beginning and continue the cycle? Coming to the end of yourself means being tired of life as usual and the way that you constantly conduct it. I became tired of the same constant broken agenda of searching in others what I needed to discover in myself, peace, joy, and happiness. What I also discovered that I didn’t know that I was in search of, was my purpose of why I was even on this God green Earth in the first place. I didn’t know it, but healing, which is doing the inner soul work on your emotions and thought life, helped enlightened me to have a different perspective about my life and the future even after I have lived and gone.
Healing and wholeness brings into view the purpose for your life and your why.
So the bloody mess? Right, right. It was the emotional triggers that would explode like land mines whenever someone would hit a familiar situation in the present-day that may have hurt me in the past. My emotions would regress to that of past instances and situations and would inform me that I wasn’t yet healed in those particular areas. My emotions would implode like unstable bombs leaving a blood trail and I was the initially wounded leaving me crippled in how I did life and relationships.
It takes tracing of where the root of the trigger began and tracing it all the way back to the situations and the circumstances that cultivated in you the mental thought system and the emotional feelings that you now have that become radioactive whenever someone goes near them.
The inner me was a mess, I was constantly at war with myself. Continuously fighting between two sides; truth and lies, wholeness and brokenness, the new and the old. Trauma and traumatic experiences leave a residue of lies behind that shaped how you continue to think and believe, traumatic thought patterns, and belief systems. When you believe the negative thoughts that were rooted out of the lies of your traumatic experiences, you live a life that believes the lies and you present them as truth or fact. The goal of healing is coming out of those beliefs completely.
I was at constant war with the past. It took me digging up old belief patterns that stemmed from me believing that I was an unloved daughter. I actually was fortunate enough to uncover the truth to find out just how loved I was and just how much my life was purposed for. I inserted the truth where the lies tried to overtake me. It took recalling hurtful memories, rehashing over dark days, and acknowledging what was actually traumatic for me. It took shining a light over scars that were festering, digging them out and cleaning them so healing could do what it naturally does restore to an original or even better state.
So, if you’re healing, know that there are some lies that you’re believing and you will need to dig them up and insert the truth there. You need to be affirmed also. I’m going to do that right now, right here. It’s not true that you are unloved. Go back to the situation or the person that first made you believe that and dig it up! Replace it with the truth recalling every person that has ever loved you. It’s not true that you will never have romantic love again, go back to that situation, and dig it up, replacing it with the truth that you love yourself first and that you will love again. It’s not true that no one will ever believe in you. Replace that with the truth, that you run across the minds of people who love and value you.
Recognizing your triggers is part of the healing process, the other part is excavating what doesn’t belong and nourishing that empty place with something healthier, a new healthier belief system, so a new process for growth can begin to take root. You dig up old rotten roots so that the fruit of your relationships that you produce in the future isn’t bitter but sweet.
When healing, don’t do it for the ‘Gram or Likes, do it because you know that you need to. Do it because you know that you and your family will benefit from it in the long run. Do because you know that if you don’t then the future of your children and grandchildren will have to reap from your brokenness and bad decisions and choices. Or simply just do it because you know you yourself need it, but prepare yourself knowing that it’s going to be a mess and that it will put you in pieces before you’re whole. Don’t be afraid to confront the darkness, shine a light there, and recover from it.
With Wholeness,
Jessica
