The Moment I Realized Jesus Really Loved Me Was During Adulthood
When I was a kid, the most popular kids’ choir song to sing in Sunday school was ‘Jesus loves me’. The lyrics went on to say, “…this I know for the Bible tells me so.” As a kid, you’re taught that Jesus really does love you and that He died to save you. At that time, I didn’t quite get it but I wanted to understand. How did Jesus know me to love me? What exactly did I do that needed saving that Jesus had to die? These were questions that would sooner than later require answers. Well into adulthood I still managed to have my wonder and questions about how Jesus fit into my world.
I’m sure many of you can imagine growing into an adult and wondering how Jesus, a man whom you’ve never seen, fits into your world, your life, and the whole picture of everything. The same curiosity I had as a child led me into the answers I needed to have as an adult. I needed to know how Jesus fit into everything and how He loved me because, at that moment in my early adulthood, I didn’t believe anyone ever did.
“I would later find out that it was me really fitting into His world and that He was the reason for everything.”
When you grow up living home to home and from hand to hand in foster care you get lost in the mix of what it means to be loved. During those times I felt it least. At the very core of us all, we all desire to have, feel and know that someone loves and accepts us. That’s all part of the human desire wanting to be accepted and loved.
All my life I was convinced of God being real but it was later in my twenties that I understood the role that Christ played in saving me. He died to save me from being my worst possible self and from my worst actions. He died to rescue me from the punishment that my dark actions truly deserved. Jesus had us all in mind to redeem us from our darkest selves that we wouldn’t have been able to come back from ourselves.
Have you ever been in a dark place in life that you’ve felt like you could never come back from? The shame is unbearable, the pain is almost intolerant, and the depression weighs heavy.
But imagine a voice breaking through all of that. Want to know the moment I realized God loved me? I was 27 years old, feeling broken about not being where I wanted to be in life, sitting on a couch in shame and feeling like a failure and clearly spoken to my heart were the words, “I love you.” What broke me was what I felt when the words were spoken. I felt protected from any mistake that I’ve ever made and from any that I could make. What I felt was grace.
The answer I needed of how Jesus fit into my world ended up being the experience I needed and why He died for the world. You experience Him being your personal Savior when you realize your soul needs saving.
Through our darkest moments, we need that voice that will shine through all of the pain that weighs heavy on us. Jesus is a light in the darkness and He loves us.
This I now know now and forever.
John 10:27–28 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
Jessica Contessa is a Chicago based author and the Editor-in-Chief of Identify Her Daily. Jess is an enigmavert (she made this up), who loves food and binge-watching Living Single on Hulu. She’s a self-published author of ‘It’s Too Expensive’ and ‘Don’t Stay Down’ and has other written works on the shelf. You can find her chillin’ in Chicago somewhere, but don’t try to actually find her.
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