Testing Begins Tomorrow

Testing begins tomorrow

Three weeks of stress

Adults with fingers wagging, voices shouting, eyes rolling

Kids unable to articulate their shame for not knowing

Insecure clicks on the screen

Going to bed early is never enough not to yawn through

disconnected text, numbers, diagrams

And for what?

Never a year goes by without the inevitable innocent question: Why?

I have never given a satisfying answer. Not for me or for them.

The reasons have evolved over the years, but

Some things remain constant

Stress

Confusion

Anxiety

Shame

Guilt (mine)

How did I go from Educator to Chief Reducer of Harm?

From joy when the light bulb appears in a child’s eyes to

A relieved sigh in the absence of tears

from harsh adult words

that refuse to acknowledge

a child’s beauty and wisdom

The latter is hardly sustaining

My harm-reducing super power loses umph with each passing day

Unable to protect. Or serve. Or teach.

An existence no longer energy-giving but essence-stealing

Who will I choose? Dare I choose me?

Image via Wikimedia Commons