Classicist’s Gift Guide 2021
For That Special Classicist in Your Life
The feminine urge to save links in your Gmail drafts folder all year in anticipation of this gift guide, but then when it comes time to make it, suddenly question everything, because Eidolon’s been gone a year and maybe it’s weird to just publish the gift guide yourself, but you might as well embrace it and call it Gift Guide (Tori’s Version), which makes you giggle but also sound a little too egotistical, so you take that part out of the title and leave it in the intro instead.
For Classicists Who Are Hanging in There
Sappho bookmarks
($2.92+)
Pro tip: Insert multiple bookmarks into the same book, so it looks like you really read deeply into that edited volume.
Build-your-own Trojan horse
($4.17)
You know what they say! Never trust a paper doll gift horse bearing other… gift…paper dolls? In the mouth. Yes that’s it.
Aeneid hardcover journal
($24.29)
The newest design from the visionary Flaroh. I suggest pairing with the Iliad and the Odyssey mock book covers.
Athenian tetradrachm coin earrings
($30+)
You can have money hanging from your ears. Maybe they’ll accept it at the dentist??
Tbh I have no attachment to Neptune, I just picked this one because Artemis was sold out.
For Classicists Who Are Losing It a Little
Venus Bust Candle
($34.77)
Melt away any evidence of Classics if you decide to leave the field.
Nut stationery pack
(€27)
Keep in touch with friends and family you haven’t seen in two years, feat. the Egyptian goddess of the sky and protector of the world.
“Ask a Classicist about Bees” t-shirt
($20.59)
Proceeds go to Sportula Europe, so you can feel good about bothering others with incessant talk of bees.
Grecian Bust Pot
($24–44)
Their heads are empty, just like yours after you scroll through Twitter for an hour.
Ancient Greek vessel reusable Baggu tote
($12)
Now that you’ve found out that reusable bags are also bad for the environment, but you’re like fuck it, we’re all going to die anyway.
For Classicists Who’ve Already Lost It
Greek key wine glasses
($16.95 each)
There’s nothing wrong with buying just one wine glass. Idk why everyone always gives them in pairs. Like, maybe I just want some wine by myself? Is that ok with you, JAKE GYLLENHAAL?
Rainbow Greek ceramics coasters
($14.26)
For the one wine glass. I suggest leaving one by the couch, one by the fridge, one by the bathtub, and one on your bedside table.
“Quid Accidit?” classroom stamp
($15)
I ask myself this question every day. Consider creating your own set by adding the “Eheu!” stamp (for yourself) and the “Hoc sero venit” stamp (for your dissertation advisor. Hi, Gregson. I’m so sorry.)
Greek mythology snack stickers
($1.40+)
The Styx water is my fave, because it has little dead souls in it.
Tori Lee is on the job market, can you tell?
